lain

i am really missing the good old days with you. tapi semuanya dah berubah. semua orang berubah. contact memang contact tapi macam taknak je. caring memang caring tapi macam tak ikhlas. ada yang macam tak pernah kenal. ada yang dah lost contact. ada yang lupa member. ada member baru lupa yang lama. macam tak pernah berkawan -.- hm entah lah

cerita

ya, kali ini dalam bahasa melayu. jangan banyak tanya, baca sahaja, akan faham nanti.


memang aku tidak tahu banyak pasal kau dan aku hanya akan bercakap apa yang aku tahu mengenai 'kita'. aku tahu aku banyak sakitkan hati kau, terlalu banyak salah aku pada kau dan aku minta maaf. bukan aku tidak mahu menemani kau di saat kau amat memerlukan aku untuk bersama dengan kau tetapi aku tidak boleh. aku bukanlah seperti kawan perempuan kau yang lain yang bebas untuk keluar setiap masa, aku minta maaf.

hari itu, aku tidak datang cari kau adalah kerana kau telah membuang aku dari hidup kau dan pergi membiarkan aku dan terus pergi tanpa meninggalkan sebarang berita. aku sakit, kau tak pernah tahu. selama kau pergi, terlalu banyak perkara yang aku terpaksa tempuhi seorang diri walau pada saat itu aku amat memerlukan kau. aku tidak akan menghubungi atau menghantar sebarang pesan pada kau pada masa itu kerana aku tahu kau tidak akan pernah ambil kisah dan aku hanya akan merosakkan kebahagiaan kau. jadi aku biarkan kau bahagia dan terus bahagia. dan sejak daripada itu, aku sedar yang aku tidak boleh mengharapkan sesiapa lagi untuk terus berdiri kalau tidak hanya diri sendiri. setelah sekian lama kau menghilang, aku makin sakit. tetapi aku tahu aku harus lebih tabah dan kawan-kawan setia menemani dan memberi semangat kepada aku. ya, aku makin tabah sehingga kini tanpa kau disisi. setelah berkali-kali jatuh bersama yang dahulu. aku rasa kau tahu. walau kau kembali, walau kau bukan yang dahulu, aku mengerti. maafkan aku kerana menyakiti kau selama kau berada bersama aku dahulu.

ikhlas,
ailin

YOU

i don't know what's happening right now. everything's not under control. even if i beg you not to leave, there's no meaning & maybe it is time for me to go. i didn't meant to do this but i have to. i wrote this for the last time, & i know you wouldn't read it. i am really sorry for what i've done wrong to you, my words, my acts & stuffs. and now i will leave & not going to disturb you anymore. thanks for our friendship, thanks for all the memories, thanks for all the acting, thanks for all the dramas, thanks for everything. take a good care of yourself. you're already happy right now & hope that you'll always be happy. i don't have much words left to say, so enjoy your life & take care again ;)

sincerely,
Ailin :)

I have to..

Okay now i am here to just seek for your forgiveness if there's anything i did wrong or my words that might hurt you, I AM SORRY. & now, i just don't know what to do, what's going to happens next. i try to treat people nicely & equally but i don't know why is all this happened to me. maybe i am giving too many chances -.-

i think all this while i am in the wrong place of placing myself perfectly around others,
until they all get mess-up
i am in the wrong position of making people's day, not in the right time,
i am too forcing someone to be by my side,
i am too harsh of treating people,
i treat people by my mood,
i don't treat them nicely,
i don't think before i act,
sometimes i make others feel so uncomfortable,
i said what i want, i do what i want until i forget about taking care of what others might feel,
i didn't mean to. I AM SORRY.

if to you i did nothing, or you have already forget about it, but i am still wrong.
i am sorry about making you sad,
i am sorry about making you angry,
i am sorry about making your days bad,
i am sorry if i did take advantages on you,
i am sorry for letting you down in any ways which i didn't realized,
i am sorry for being stupid,
i am sorry for not being a good friend of yours,
i am sorry i can't be a perfect person of yours,
i did a lot of mistakes,
i know.

& i think, now, it is time for me to change, change everything,
i have to fix all the mess up that is me,
i have to learn from my past,
i have to take this as a lesson,
i really have to change, yes, it is the time :)


*& for _____ who did ask me to throw away any feelings towards you (well you know -.-) , don't worry, I WILL :) i know you might feel uncomfortable with me, or i am just making a mess in your life, I AM SO SO SORRY, i didn't mean to but i'll leave you, i'll sets you free, you can do what you want, you can go where you want, it is your life isn't it? don't worry :)
well, it is my mistakes for loving you, SORRY AGAIN. have a wonderful day, take care ;)

end '09

I am still not ready to leave this year, 2009. & if possible, i don't want this year to end, i don't want this year to go, i want to re-start this year, may i? *sigh* I have been through a lot of things in this year, taught me a lot of new things, about how to choose a good better friends ever, how to differentiate between good & bad, how to be more independent, more mature without thinking about others might said. but in this situation, i am still don't know what am i did wrong because people never stop talking bad about me, about who am i being friends with. but i don't care about what they will say or might just accusing me without knowing anything, well that's we call 'mulut orang' -.-

People loveeeeee to judge other people, meanwhile they don't even know what they did, what they said that might just letting other people or even us put a judge back on them. well, let's just put this aside. this topic is just boring & lame somehow HA-HA.

Okay so, in this year, i admit that i am a bit wilder than before, but i am still know how to control myself & not getting involve in such things that i did before or maybe just more bad. *i hope not! well i think you don't have to know HAHA :P hm i don't know how am i getting to stand on my own feet, leading my own life without someone that i can rely on, best friends beside me, standing tall together, been through good & bad moments together, i mean, they are just so nice to me. i don't know how to repay back all their kindness towards me. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FRIENDS :) i don't even want to lose them. friends are hard to find, maybe it is easy for you to say, but for me, true friends are really hard to find, really hard to replace. even ONE -.-'
but i need to realize that takkan forever aku nak bergantung hidup dengan orang kan? but let's just give me some time, some space to move on & facing all things in my life that will coming to show up.

maybe some other day, perhaps. but i think not now, for sure ;) i really need someone to rely on right now. i am not ready at all :) sorry

thank you for reading this boring blog -____-' byeee

after PMR

Hello guyssss, I am sorry for the late post because i am quite busy & for sure don't have things to write about. so, sorry againnnn.

Since the PMR already past, there's quite a lot of activities that school provided like bola jaring, bola baling, futsal, tarik tali & stuffs. it was quite fun somehow even though there were team mates that do not come to show themselves up & get themselves in the group. it was quite pissed-off because we have to work harder & get enough players. but it's okay we still having fun with others & without THEM *sigh -.-'

So, currently i just got back here from Taiping & Ipoh. me & nabila followed amalina to her hometown. we were having lots of fun there. we did bunch of activities there especially in Taiping. the lake garden was so amazing which have lots of trees, i mean different trees that was not here in KL. okay, the first day we reached Perak, we went to Kuala Kangsar. we went to Istana Kenangan & Sultan Azlan Shah's Gallery. the place was so amazing. we took quite loads of photos since we are all the camera maniac haha

Then after that we went to amalina's opah's house. her opah was rock youuu haha i like her *haaaaa -.- then we went to mandi sungai. the water was so cold -.- & guess what, one of the frog jumped towards me, as usual i am the one who scared with frogs screamed & jumped onto nabila's body ahaha amalina & nabila was laughing at me like hell. suddenly, the big katak sat on one of the rock & stared at us. we then moved away & started to go home. then, we took a shower and we took our lunch & after that started to sleep. but unfortunately, we can't even closed our eyessss haha because we never stop laughing & fighting with each other. then everybody started to get sleep, & yeah they already slept. so the 3 of us took the camera out & went outside of the house & took pictures haha each photos we took we laughed looking at it because there were pictures that was so funny hahaha

Then, in the evening, we prepared ourselves to go out. amalina's dad dropped us at the lake garden. it was soo sooooo beautiful. we started to planned to ride the swan thing but the swan only can fit 2 person. so we decided to rent a sampan which we had make quite stupid decision. susah bodoh nak dayung sampan tu. we work together & change shift to dayung the sampan. our hands' getting cramp, oh boy -.- the sampan was not moving i tell you. but with patience, finally we did it! the sampan was moving but it was quite hard to stabalize the sampan. the sampan kept turn round & round *pfft. tapii, we had so much fun. yay us! -.-

After that, we went for dinner & got back home. we were so tired & took a rest. we then took lotsa pictures again & recorded some videos hahaha we started to felt sleepy but we can't sleep like usual because we can't even stop laughing hahaha laugh laugh & laugh finally semua tidur. on the next day, we went to Bukit Larut, it was a beautiful amazing place everrr! with the cold air & the trees was amazing. we always said that the trees there was just like in the Twilight movie haha spider monkey :D and off, amalina's dad dropped us at the Taiping Sentral. we watched a movie, Papadom. it was absolutely nice! then we cried haha how sweet the movie was. then we started to feel the tired as our ankles already jammed. so we went home.

In the night, we waited for amalina's auntie (acik) to come. then we took our dinner. & off to bowling haha we had a lot of fun & i am proud of myself sebab strike 2 kali. i didn't know lagipun first time main. so whatever it is, congratulations haha on the next day we shoot off to Ipoh, then we spent for about 2 hours playing games & watching TV's programmes. in the evening, amalina's dad dropped us at the Ipoh Parade where the place were full with boyans, rempit, punks, whatsoever pfft -.-' we then played bowling. after that habiss then we walked & did some shopping. i mean, amalina did. not us. after that we went home & wait for the dinner. after having our dinner, we then rest ourselves on the tilam while watching movie.

In the morning, wan, which is amalina's grandmother, set up breakfast & we helped wan too. after breakfast, we then off back to KL. before that, we went to rawang i think, i mean near to rawang, we went to bihah's house as long time didn't meet her haha we took pictures & had lunch. after that we went home. finally -.- penat, but we had lotsa fun there. i missed Taiping already :(

*Sorry malas nak letak gambar dekat blog.
p/s : view it in myspace. thanks :)

Hello RAYA :)

As we keep counting days for puasa, now we are just in the end of puasa and hello RAYA :)


In the mean time, I still can't believe that puasa is already in the end -.-' i thought that it was just started. Well, face the facts ailin :D


Actually i am totally rushed and focused in counting days for PMR to be held. *sigh -.- I thought that i can celebrate raya this year with full of joy but i can't. Raya is raya, PMR is PMR. Eventhough PMR is just around the corner but I still don't full get ready to sit for PMR -.-' Thinking about future, about what going to happen next is just messing me up. I don't really ready to stand in the crowd alone. But that is life. We can't just hoping & keep relying on people's butt.


But in this year, I learnt lotsa things in my life. New things. About friendships, loves, single, couples, etc. I am proud of myself for being a bit adult and learn to survive without fully craving for people's helps. I am a bit grown up day by day with new kinda things everyday. Yes, go ailin! ;)


And i think that's all for now, I will be posting another blog soon. And thanks cause reading it ;)

P/s : For anybody who do know me, I would like to seek for your forgiveness towards all my wrong-doings all this while including I realised or I didn't realised at all. I am sorry. I am totally regret it. Especially for those whom I always hurt your feelings. I am so so sorry. I didn't meant to do those things to you. Well, people make mistakes right. And now, I already realised my mistakes and hoping that you guys will forgive me. Again, if ada TERkasar bahasa, TERsalah tutur kata, TERejek lebih ke, TERkutuk ke, padanlah muka *JOKE! haha :D TERtiru jawapan ke, TERpukul kuat ke, apa-apa yang TER lah, sorry again.

And lastly, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN :)

I Love You & Take Care <33

Lots of loves,
Ailin ;)

Convo with madu 'S'

[23:34] elinailin : ARU MATAAAAAAAAAAA!
[23:34] elinailin : :))
[23:35] nurulnabyila : aru dahi!!!!!!!!
[23:35] elinailin : ahahahaha poyo lah kau!
[23:35] elinailin : eeee nanti jadi madu doo
[23:35] elinailin : hahahahaha lebih baik dari 'tuut'
[23:35] elinailin : eh btw diet kita nk bagi gelaran apa?
[23:35] elinailin : haaa aru segala aru nak? HAHAHA
[23:35] nurulnabyila : tak nak la !
[23:35] nurulnabyila : tak pyh gelaran !
[23:35] nurulnabyila : tak pyh ckp psl dia ok?
[23:36] elinailin : oh ok ok
[23:36] elinailin : ha'ah kann buat sakit hati jee sakit babi haha
[23:36] nurulnabyila : haha
[23:36] nurulnabyila : tau pon kau !
[23:36] elinailin: eh b, nanti kita nk kawin dkt mana? garden? atas bukit? hahaha
[23:36] elinailin : tapi kalau dgn aru dahi kena dekat kuil :))
[23.36] nurulnabyila : tak nak
[23:36] nurulnabyila : nnti ade hantu mate terbeliak kt sne !@-)
[23:36] nurulnabyila : haah
[23:36] elinailin : AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[23:36] elinailin : aru mata india jugak eh? eh tkpelah dia ada. dia boleh jadi spotlight dkt sana ahahaha
[23:37] nurulnabyila : haha
[23:37] nurulnabyila : kau bulan pose lahh !
[23:37] nurulnabyila : tak baik !
[23:37] elinailin: eleh kauuuuuuu tk baik konon
[23:37] nurulnabyila: aku rindu WAN lahhh :x
[23:37] elinailin: yg kau ejek aku pasal madu madu tadi apa? baik pulak?
[23:37] elinailin: WAN?
[23:37] elinailin: hoooooooo
[23:37] nurulnabyila: hehe
[23:37] elinailin: i lap WAN ahahaha
[23:38] elinailin: nabila, kau nk letak nama anak kau apa?
[23:38] elinailin: FAISAL YUSUF aku punya!
[23:39] elinailin:: ;P
[23:39] nurulnabyila: amek la
[23:39] nurulnabyila: aku dah ade nama laen lahh

[23:39] elinailin: apa? aru mata? AHAHAHA
[23:39] nurulnabyila: ape mslah kau ?
[23:39] nurulnabyila: nak sgt ke aru mata tuh ?
[23:39] nurulnabyila: amek la wehh
[23:40] nurulnabyila: aku tak hingin ponn
[23:40] nurulnabyila: @-)
[23:40] elinailin: haa tau pon! kau tu tk habes habes pasal MADU THE CLIMB -.-
[23:40] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:41] elinailin: aku tak sukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :@)
[23:41] nurulnabyila: ahah
[23:41] elinailin: aku rela jadi madu kau doh
[23:41] elinailin: hahaha
[23:41] nurulnabyila: :@)
[23:42] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:42] nurulnabyila: aku yg tak rela dohh
[23:42] nurulnabyila: wan aku punya sorang lahh
[23:43] elinailin: eeeee aku tknk pn lah wan tuu
[23:43] elinailin: amik ahhhh
[23:43] elinailin: aku ada SPIDERMAN
[23:43] elinailin: :p
[23:43] elinailin: JOHOR pn aku punya :p
[23:43] elinailin: F2 lyna punyaaa :p
[23:44] nurulnabyila: ye lahh
[23:44] nurulnabyila: amek lahh
[23:44] nurulnabyila: aku punya WANNNNNNN
[23:44] nurulnabyila: :))
[23:44] elinailin: lohhhhh eeeeee perasan lah sial!
[23:44] elinailin: confident tu cakapppp
[23:44] elinailin: walawehhhhhhh
[23:44] elinailin: cehh nabila dh pndai dh skrg kannnn
[23:44] elinailin: org bagi makan mcm ni kau kannnn HAHAHA
[23:45] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:45] nurulnabyila: tade la
[23:45] nurulnabyila: aku berangan je lahh
[23:46] elinailin: elehhhhh kauuu hahaha
[23:46] elinailin: mlm ni berangan naik pelamin hahaha
[23:46] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:46] nurulnabyila: tadi en ,
[23:47] nurulnabyila: wan tu en , pndg aku mcm tau je aku ske dia ahah
[23:47] elinailin: elehhhhhhhhh nanti kalau dia tau menggelabah tetek kau hahaha
[23:48] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:48] nurulnabyila: tu lah
[23:48] nurulnabyila: aku tak mau la dia tau
[23:48] nurulnabyila: bia je la aku sorang je
[23:49] elinailin: elehhhh tgk tgk dia pn suke kau jugak ehh hooooooo :D
[23:53] elinailin: aiiii angau kt WAN pon agak agak ar biar aku chat sorg ennnnn
[23:54] nurulnabyila: hehe
[23:54] nurulnabyila: aku tak tua nak ckp ape
[23:54] elinailin: kau dh ngntok ckp je arrr haha
[23:56] nurulnabyila: tak de lah
[23:56] nurulnabyila: aku bosan nih
[23:56] elinailin: kau tk ngntok ke?
[23:57] nurulnabyila: belom lah
[23:57] nurulnabyila: jap lgi kot
[23:58] elinailin: weh k ar aku nk out. byeeeee ;)
[23:59] nurulnabyila: nye
[23:59] nurulnabyila: byee the climb !
[23:59] elinailin: babiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
[23:59] elinailin: :@):@):@):@):@):@):@)
[23:59] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:59] nurulnabyila: adek aku pon tau la babi mcm tu rupa dia !
[00:00] elinailin: aku tak kata pon adik kau tktau
[00:00] elinailin: aku nk tunjuk tulah rupa MONYET
[00:01] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:01] nurulnabyila: dia tau la monyet mcm mne !
[00:01] elinailin: eeee diam ah aku tk suke
[00:02] elinailin: kau dh madu dgn S dh arrrrr haha
[00:02] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:02] nurulnabyila: babiiii
[00:03] elinailin: haaaaa tau ponnnnnnn
[00:03] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:03] elinailin: (m) 'A' monyet tuh ahahahaha
[00:03] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:03] nurulnabyila: ye lah kau !
[00:04] elinailin: dah byeeeeee! madu S
[00:04] elinailin: :))
[00:05] nurulnabyila: B-)

Heh -.-

I don't want this year to end,
I don't want to leave this form 3,
I don't want to be separated with my friends,
I don't want to survive alone,
Although,
things might change,
but I want those memories remain the same.
Things that we shared,
laughters, thick & thin in life,
would be the most memorable part.
Eventhough we know that
we will be separated one day,
but still
hand in hand, heart to heart
we will never ever be apart.
Even day by day past,
but still we never forget about the past.


Memories will forever will become memories.
Let past be history, even zillion miles away we're being separated but still close to heart ;)



* I LOVE YOU, FRIENDS :)

Fasting Month

Yeah, school holidays start so do fasting month. it's been a while due to the last fasting month left us. And here it comes :)
Eventhough in the month of fasting, there is no rest. brain can't rest so do hands. Exam is just around the corner and still, i am not ready. I don't want this year to end. *sigh -.-

And yes, reducing my extra fats, here and there in this fasting month is just and advantage. Big thighs, big tummy, big arms and stuffs. Due to this one month fasting, i have to guide my stomach to control craving for foods. Stop it -.-
For this month, i am hoping that i could change everything. From bottom to top. To be better. Much better. Getting myself near to Allah and get rid of my last sins are also an advantage to be a better person and start a new life. Prove me right, this month is the time. The time for you to change, the time for you to stop all the shit things while the creatures that we called 'syaitan' are being held with chain. And now i am losing my vocabs book and craving for words and ideas, i think it's better for me to stop here.

Notes : For those who think they can't fast or don't want to fast or fast because of force, and just for stupid things, better don't. You are wasting your time, your energy. But don't drag peoples around you to go to hell with you ;)

And lastly, Happy Fasting Month :)

i wish..

As time passing by, I am getting older and older. Things are getting harder, problems are getting bigger, friends come and go. Sometimes im just being stutter looking at all things that are happening around right now. And sometimes i feel i can't stand this anymore and i wish that i was born in the other part of this world. I can't even do anything except for just praying that things might change to be in better way, to be in good terms.
How i wish things might be better,
I wish that i could change these days,
to be a better days
throw all the tears and hurts away
I wish i could look in the future
so that i could plan better things
I wish that i could stand still
even in the hardest part
and be a strong person
without hanker for people's help
I wish i have someone for me to rely on
so that he/she would be the one who is lending their shoulder for me to cry on
and would do the same thing even in the other moments
This journey is still far
as im still the only daughter in my family, the only child
i don't know whether i could still stand facing all these sort of things in life
when my parents are no longer beside me
Sometimes i feel that i wanted to go first
and sometimes i think i can't
It's hard for me
I wish that all my dreams will come true,
even there are zillion prayers that i pray
as i keep on praying day by day
But,
if one day i am really in a big bad moments, i wish that there is someone that could still sit beside me and say, things will change to be in better ways :)

feelings

Have you been thru part that people or someone you trust or even your bestfriends did things that might hurt your feelings? and for sure you guys did. and how does it feels? i bet it doesn't feels good at all. and sometimes im just hoping that i could turn 'em down or just shoot 'em up. or maybe sometimes i would just wanted to be deaf so that i wouldn't be able to hear all those nonsense. but for sure i don't want to be deaf. sometimes things might not be the same. things that we never expected to hear/do would unfortunately happens. people talk what they want eventhough they didn't know the truth. they don't even want to try and figure out the true things and keep on talking shits. i don't mind if some of 'em want to talk this and that about someone. maybe there's thing that they don't like. but could you please talk to that someone nicely. is it so hard? some words might hurt people's feelings. not to you, but maybe to them. try to understand people's feelings. try to get to know them deeper. don't just follow what your heart said. don't be selfish you fool!

*and to those that being this type of unable to understand human, try to change babee. it's good for you. and please please please don't be selfish. it is immensely annoying -___- pfft

btw thanks for reading ;)

CAMP ROCK

Well, sorry for the late update. I just came back from camp and facing thru exam -____- plus, Im waiting for the pictures to upload by puri. It tooks quite lotsa time because there are too many pictures.

So, here how it goes. On the 3rd to 5th July i went to unit beruniform camp in school. It was the first time i went to camp since i entered secondary school. How lame -___-' pfft. Well, the camp was immensely da boom! Arghhh i missed it already :( and i don't want to talk much, here are some photos,

************************************************

First day, 3rd July

Model wannabe part 1 HAHA

Model wannabe part 2

Model wannabe part 3

Model wannabe part 4

Model wannabe part 5

Model wannabe part 6

*************************************************

Second day, 4th July

Model wannabe part 7 haha


**************************************************

Last day, 5th July

Model wannabe part 8

Model wannabe part 9

I miss this :(

So, this camp was immensely awesome! It is not that i never been to camp before but due to long-time-never-go camp, i really really missed it. There're lotsa memories left which i never forget. And not forgetting, thanks to maula, our driver to petronas on 1.30 a.m. something haha. Thanks to kak shikin, kak myra, kak anis, luqman, mangga, feeqo, puri, sheikh, pejal and others too for being such a great gang ;)





Haih, i really really really gonna miss this camp :(

Friends letter

Old/best/new friends,


I just want to seek for your forgiveness for all my wrong-doings, my bad behaviour, my shit words and bla3. I know sometimes i did things that might hurt you guys. I am sorry..


Dear old friends,

I just want to say I am missing you guys so much. I don't know how to prove it after all some of you guys are lost in contact. I am trying how to find you guys back. I miss the all of you. I am hoping that one day we will meet each other back. But it's okay, walau jauh di mata, dekat di hati ecehh :D

****************************************

Dear best friends,

I am writing this to letting you guys know how much i love being with you guys. You guys are just special in your own way. Thanks for your kindness, thanks for being such a special to me, thanks for everything. The moment that we shared together, problems that we faced together, things that we did together, i don't know how to repay back all your kindness. I am so appreciate it eventhough sometimes i seems don't care at all. I am hoping that our friendships will last forever and ever. Sometimes i try to live without you guys and i can't, im weak. I don't know what would it be if you guys are not here by my side. Thanks for every single thing. Thanks for lending me a hand when im fall, thanks for lending me your shoulder for me to cry on, thanks for giving me supports when i feel bad, thanks for everything again. I love you guys so much :)

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Dear new friends,

I am happy to know you guys and like usual, i am hoping that our friendship will getting closer and be more good. And if you guys are still want to continue this relationship, go on. We can make it i guess. Whatever it is, thanks for being my friend :)


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*Psst, to those who is saying that im sombong or wtv shit it is, i am sorry. i am not that type. maybe sometimes i would be. but not all the time. maybe all the time, only to some of the people. not all. and to those that said i am no longer being their friends, not like before wtv thingy, i am sorry again. and i am trying to be the old me. i am trying to hold our relationships together. but i am sorry if i give a damn fuck like what you did to me like shit things (you know what i mean) so, that's all, thanks :)



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Currently

When boredom strikes, i just hoping that things would be better than before, there is a new thing to try, something exciting. Even alone, but i don't care. Just hoping that i could feel the excitement. I don't hanker to have someone that would cheer me up, I don't hanker having friends which is total fake, I don't hanker to have someone to bring the excitement. If there is one, i would be happy. Too much fake friends nowadays. They are taking advantages on chances given. They are just being selfish. I don't say ALL. I think it's time for me to live on my own not keep relying on someone's life. I just want someone that is true. True in every ways. I admit that nowadays i ignore ppl much. Especially if they are being super duper boring ppl. Ask stupid questions, same stupid questions, again and againnnnnnn -_____- pfft. I'm sorry to say this, but it's my blog, it's my site, and it's my feelings.

Thanks for reading

just a cat?!

Haha okay well, this morning like usual, i was walking to the tapak perhimpunan with julie and all. I was wondering where is this nabila? Well, no doubt she always late. No doubt again, because she's walking from house to school. To me it is quite farrr because of my laziness -_____- She always said that "aku nk kurus!" and even my 'project' also is not working. I mean, she's the one who didn't want to follow the schedule heh and what else to say, go walk! Go nabila go! haha

So, around 7.30 i think cause i don't rmember what's the time. *mcm lah tgk jam haha
So, i was waiting for this nabila to come. And while waiting and searching for her, my eyes were catch with this boy which is her crush *woot woot haha and i said, "nabila, you'll be proud knowing this later" haha cause he didn't came to school for about a week -___- and i believed, this nabila missed him sooo sooo sooo mucho mucho gituu :D and off, this nabila finally arrived. And i said,

Me : Nabila, asal tudung kau kotor hah?

Nabila : Yeke? Laa apahal doh? Tipu ah

Me : Lantak kau ah sumpah kotor. Tak caye tnya ah a'an ika sume.

A'an : A'ah la nabila, kotor. Kan ika?

Ika : A'ah.

Nabila was so panic at that time...

Nabila : Weh Ailin jom teman aku g tndas.

Me : Yelahh nabila

Nabila as usual, babble all herself all along the pathway to the toilet. Then, we put our bags and the KH stuffs wtv thingy and off to the toilet.

Nabila : Weh mana ada kotor

Me : Ada ah kau ni bukak ah tudung tu pastu tgk apa masalahnye?

And nabila take off her tudung and take a look at it

Nabila : Ha'ah doh lin. Apahal ha? Tkkn iron aku yg kotor kot..

Me : Mana lah aku tau. Kau ni suke je kotor sana kotor sini


As time passing by and the assembly is just going to start, Nabila was washing her tudung and suddenly, i felt that something beside me whereas there is no one inside the toilet except for me and nabila. Suddenly that thing jumped into the sink and i scream like the whole school could hear. Nabila which didn't see that thing at all was just scream also and we ran to the other part in the toilet. And there's a prefect, boy prefect was just looking in the toilet which is the screams came from. I was immensely shocked like hell -___- pfft. And while we were laughing at each other, suddenly that thing jumped onto floor and ran out. Nabila was shocked again and she scream for the second time. I was awaked by her voice screaming while im relaxing myself cause by that thing. And nabila said, it looks like kaki toyol wtv shit budak tu merapu. That time i feel like, "im gonna die this time -___-" but this nabila could just even laughed at me pfft -_____-

Nabila : Weh apahal doh kau jerit? Kau nmpak ape?

Me : Kucing doh

Nabila : Ahahahaha lawak doh kau. Kucing pun kau nk jerit

Me : Kepala hot kau lah tak jerit. Dh la tkde org dlm tndas ni, kita je. Aku tgh tgk kau basuh tdung pastu tetibe aku rasa ada bnde kt sebelah. Atas sinki pulak tu, mana aku tk jerit. Kau pn jerit gak en

Nabila : Ahahaha ye ah aku terkejut gila ah asal kau tetibe jerit. Aku jerit je ah. Kau jerit dh ah mcm org terkejut gila

Me : Memang ah doh. Aku tk expect pn ada kucing. Haih nauzubillah

Nabila : Ahahaha nasib baik tk keluar doh. dgn aku tk pakai tudung ahahaha

Me : Ahahaha dah la ada abg pengawas tgk dlm tndas ni tadi ahaha kelakar je doh

Nabila : Ahahahahaha kau ah! Pegi jerit, terkejut aku kau tau

Me : Ahaha sorry ah doh. Mana tk terkejut, kucing tu sebelah aku. Kau tak rasa cmne. Kuat ke aku jerit?

Nabila : Kuat doh ahahaha ailinn ailinn...

Makcik kedai buku : Eh kenapa jerit jerit ni?

Me : Tkde, tadi ada kucing lompat

Makcik kedai buku : Apalah kamu ni, kucing pn takut


And off, me and nabilla were just laughing at each other remembering the moment ahahaha bodoh punye kucing! -_____-

So, that's all for now, end ;)

nowadays...

First of all, I want to apologise for being quite 'sombong' lately. And to those that might hurt with my words, sorry also. *bnyk mencarut -.- seriously pfft

Okay, well idk why lately i have been quite 'sombong' or maybe too 'sombong'. Maybe my best friends didn't noticed it cause they have been with me all the time. So, they think and believed that i am just act like normal cause when im with them, we're like usual. Sharing things together. Laugh together. And of course mencarut much *it's me, yeah i know -.-


Idk why i don't really bother what's going on in my surroundings, i don't bother if teacher is in my class, i don't bother to study, i don't bother what my parents say, i don't bother everything. I just think lots of things that i am not supposed to care. Okay, im being honest. I have been thinking about my ex. I mean not sweet things bla3 wtv shit it is. (berjangkit dgn amin, grr -.-) I have been thinking about my past. Good and bad. I have been thinking about my parents, my studies which is going down day by day. I don't even know how to get rid of those things that im not supposed to think so that i could get back in my real life and keep going on. And of course keep focusing on my studies cause PMR is just around the corner. My mood swings a lot. Sometimes it's really good and outstanding but sometimes it's getting bad and worse. I think about all shit things. Especially in class. So do in home.


Haih idk whyyyyy. In fact, my marks are going down exams by exams. And there is an upcoming test. OMG -.- idk whether i can still score or maybe just keeping my marks going down. I always get babbled by my parents. I know i should get that from them. It's my fault. It is not because i don't want to study. It is not because i don't bother about my studies at all. It is just, idk why. That's all i can say. Lately i try not to talk to my parents much cause i don't want to. I don't want them to babble all the time. I just loved being alone. Or maybe with my friends. They're just special to me. They stick together no matter what. But not all of 'em. I repeat, NOT ALL. But it's okay. I don't seek being friends with 'em. I think that's all for now. I'll write again soon.

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boyfriend?

Im too bored -___-' Words finish already haha

Okay so, boyfriend? haha -____-

Well, i am not too choosy or jual mahal thing but yet, i still not found someone that have the characteristics that i like. Maybe some of it does but still i don't want to. Why? Am i being 'konon cantik' girl wtv shit or tak laku (which is fuck -.- pfft). No, it is just that, like i said, i not yet found someone. Maybe there is one. But not important and a must to be together such a couple right? Maybe one day, perhaps -___-'


Well, having a boyfriend is just awww :D but sometimes it is really annoys. Having a boyfriend which is a kaki flirting with others is just soo annoying. I didn't say that ALL guys are like that, maybe just some of it. I repeat, NOT ALL okay. Terima kasih :) *Okay back to topic. And having a boyfriend which is too loving and caring and of course faithful are just soo enough. *To me la. Being single is not that bad somehow. But sometimes i thought of having someone special or in other way, having a boyfriend. But i think if there's someone that God send to me, *cehh then it will be okay i think. And to those that i don't accept you guys for being my boyfriend, sorry and we still can be friends yaww :) kan kan? :D alaa relax ahh, tkkan tk accept nk touching? pastu jauhkan diri la apa la. mcm perempuan you know! haha.


So, back to topic. If i have a boyfriend, for sure i will take a good care of him but if he is being such a fuck then it will turn into pfft -__- seriously and i mean it. Eventhough i had already being through lotsa things, i mean shit things when in love or being in love with someone, like he's having another girl, he's flirting around and bla3, i am still not being a playgirl or bohsia wtv shit bla3. I am here not to being a "Hello, I am single. Would you be my boyfriend?" pfft. Eeuwww i am not that type okay pluss i am not too desperate to have a boyfriend. I can live on my own. But if one day there's someone would like to be my boyfriend, i would loved to ngee :D Being pampered, loved and etc are just soo awesome.


Remembering the past sometimes makes me laugh haha but sometimes and some guys are fake. They say things but they don't mean it, at all pfft -___- plus, even if they mean it, but sometimes they only say it but they do not act it -___-' They use the same words to us and also to other girls which are not their girlfriend. If they say "i love you, sayang :)" to us, you know how i feel and so do you right? Isn't that is just too sweet? Aww. But at the same time, they use that words to others also. To me, if they are being like that, it is no point and the words mean nothing if you say it to your girlfriend though. I am not saying just guys, maybe some girls are the same too. Isn't that just deplorable? Yeah, it is. immensely. Sometimes guys are doing shits and so do girls. I repeat, SOME OF IT ONLY. NOT ALL. I have been through things, lotsa things that really hurts but i don't want to repay all their shits. Let them be, they choose their own life. Past is past. Start of something new :)


And i think that's all. Thanks for reading ;)

hobbies/girlfriends/boyfriends/marriage?

Okay well on the 7th ofJune, on 11.30 (i think, whatever)

Me, papa, mama, cu, cik izan, aikal(13), akam(9), balqis(6). We were from Bentong cause on the 6th of June, my cousin got married. So err they went to our house and sat for a while and chit chat thingy bla3 whatever it was and so we off to Al-Kader, near to Wangsa Maju for dinner. It's quite late i know. We moved out from Bentong around 6 something and we reached home at 11?! well well well, there's a bigggggg traffic jammed -_____- because of the road was close cause they're doing some job wtv shit. So, back to the topic. So, finally we reached the mamak stall and we chose place to sit and have dinner. We we're chit chatting and of course there's lotsa conversations. So, this were how it goes.

(First Conversation)

Papa : Nak duduk mana?

Mama : Mana-mana lah.

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So, we sat and started to order

(Second Conversations)


Papa : Ailin, what do you want to drink?

Me : Teh o ais limau

Papa : Mama?

Mama : Teh o limau panas. Aikal? akam? Ana (Cu)?

Aikal : Teh ais

Akam : Milo ais

Cu : Milo panas

Mama : Izan?

Cik Izan : Nescafe panas

Mama : Makan?

Cu : Order nasi pastu lauk.

Mama : Okay, so nk order lauk apa?

Cu : Tomyam jelah, okay?

Aikal, Me, Akam : Okay okay.

Mama : Pastu add on kangkung and telur dadar.

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And off, we waited for our foods and drinks to come.

(Third Conversations, while eating)

Cu : Haa lepas ni lama lah kita tkde kenduri. Lepas tu Elin pulak kawin

Me : Eh apasal pulak? Abg Roy ada lagi, Abg akem, Kak Ajim, Kamil haa haa haa apa apa?

Cu : Haha cuak kau.

Aikal : Cehh Elin kawen nantiii haha

Akam : A'ah. Haa kawen dgn ijoy

Me : Ee tolong sikit. Kau ingt kau sape nk jodohkan aku. Ijoy tu kawan jelah okay!

Aikal : Haha eleh

Mama : Elin tu tk sbr nk kawen tuu haha

Me : Eee apahal doh korang? Elin rasa Aikal ngn Akam kawen dulu baru Elin kawen. Elin yg jadi pengapit dorang nanti. Tgk lah kalau tk caye.

Akam : Eh Akam tk nak kawenn

Me : Konon tknak kawen. Awek merataa

Akam : Eh abang lagi ramai awek

Aikal : Mana ada!

Me : Haaaa kantoiiii ahaha

Aikal : Serious tkde

Akam : Eleh abes tu aAmira lah, Nabila Wahab tu lah apa?

Aikal : Nabila Wahab mana ni?

Me : Haaa haaaaa kantoiiiiiii ahahaha

*Papa, Cik Izan, Mama and Cu were just laughing looking at us*

Aikal : Ee mana ada! Akam menipuuu!

Akam : Ha tknak ngaku!

Me : Cehhhhh Nabila Wahabbbbb

Aikal : Nabila Wahab mana ni?

Me : Keeee, Nabila Wahub? ahahaha

Aikal : Ahahaha bnyak lah kau!

*So, off. We ate and laughed*

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(Fourth Conversations)

Me : Weh aikal, dh besar kau nk jadi apa?

Aikal : Adalah. Kau?

Me : Doctor lah :D

Aikal : Eleh. Aku nk jadi pemain bola sepak or tentera.

Me : Cehhhh tenteraaaa

Akam : Eleh sebok je abang ni. Akam nk jadi pemain bola sepak jugak. tapi dengan pilot lagi satuu

Me : Pilot? Wow! best tuu. Nanti aku nk pegi mana-mana free eh?

Akam : Ah tak boleh!

Me : Okay fine. Kalau kau sakit aku tak nak rawat biar mati hahaha

Akam : Lahh kurang ajar betul!

Me : AHAHAHAHA

Aikal : AHAHAHAHA

Me : Mama mama, Aikal nk jadi tenteraaaaa.

Mama : Yeke? Bagus, pertahankan kedaulatan negara. Kenapa nk jadi tentera? Tapi nk jadi tentera apa?

Aikal : Sbb boleh main tembak-tembak haha em darat lah kot

Mama : Eleh kalau reti tembak. Ni nk tembak monyet pun tk kena, gelak monyet tu hahaha


*Me, Cu, Akam, Aikal and Mama were laughing hahaha*


Mama : Ala darat tk best lah. Jadi lah udara ke laut kee

Me : Ee tk best ah darat weh Aikal. Kalau aku baik jadi tentera udara

Akam : Eh udara tk best ah! Kalau akam jadi tentera laut. Dapat ikan free hahaha


Me, mama, aikal and cu were laughing hahaha bertuah punya akam



Well, we're quite bising somehow. Everyone were looking and staring at us but still we don't care. We just enjoyed our time together. And, that's our best night since the last time we had dinner together. I'll miss it :(

tudung?

Shocked? Why am i suddenly wearing tudung? Okay i am tired of answering millions of questions so i wanted to share with you about why am i suddenly wearing tudung.

Well, err i didn't remember on what day or on what date but after i came back from school my mom asked me to accompany her to Carrefour because she wanted to buy something. So i talked to her for a few minutes and this is how it goes,

Mama : Lin, teman mama pergi Carrefour kejap boleh?

Elin : Nk buat apa?

Mama : Mama nk beli barang sikit.

Elin : Emmm yelahh. Mama iron kan tudung.

Mama : Tudung?

Elin : Yelah.

Mama : Kenapa?

Elin : Nk pakai lah.

Mama : Aii sejak bila pulak nii

Elin : Alaa tk salahkan mama kan?

Mama : Mmg lah tak. Kalau nk pakai pakai lah mama tak kisah. Tapi ingat mama tak paksa yaa.

Elin : Yelah mama ku sayang. *blurrr* *confused*

Mama : Oi termenung apa lagi tu? Pergi mandi cepat!

Elin : Hehe....sorry

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Okay so that's it. Idk why all of a sudden i feel like wearing tudung. And that conversations was the first thing and day that i thought/talked of wearing tudung. Actually at first idk who or why i want to talked about this and i started to called my close friends and we talked through about this. So all do support me and they gave me strength. And until now, things are fine and i am still wearing it :)

Thanks guys, thanks a lotttttttttt! I love you guys much!

so-called 'great' life

Sometimes life could be sooo great but sometimes it is not, at all -____-
Well life is just like a wave. Sometimes we will be in the up but sometimes we will be in the bottom. Things could make us make mistakes and we learn from that to stop keep falling and still standing no matter what. Not all things could make us be in the up and not all things that we thought that we could be in the bottom will make us be in the bottom. Life is life. We can't slip away from problems/mistakes. We're just a normal human-being. Some things that we never expect that could turn into a mistake and turn us down would be turn into mistakes somehow. To have a great life we have to find/choose a great life and what type/situation that we want to live in. Not all things that we want could be reality sometimes only in fantasy.


Well, friends are there but not all friends are the best. It's hard to find someone that can really understand us, that can really be with us in thick/thin, that can be the one that we can rely on, that can stand with us no matter what and keep us out from falling apart, that can stick with us eventhough we're not in a good situations, that can make us feel good in our bad moments and so on bla3. This if life, friends come and go. True friends will remain and stay. Nothing else matters. Not all person we can make friends, not all friends we can trust and not all friends can be the best true-est friends like we thought. True friends will stay with us and be with us through everything and guide us in problematic and hard situations. True friends will be there anytime when we need them. But the part that is really poignant is when the one that we thought our best true-est friends will only be with us when we're freedom, when we don't have problems and when we have lots of money but when it turns to our bad moments, bad situations and so on, they're gone, they leave. It's immensely dissapointing.


See, this if life. Not all things are great. Maybe some things but not all. Everyone wants a great life, great friends, great journey and great future ;)

when boys when girls

okay look well there's a thing that i really don't like. it is about when a guy and when a girl.

well this things really irks me the mostttt is when a guy do have a girlfriend but they act like they don't have one and simply just go and flirt with others and so do girls. maybe they do have a pretty/macho faces then they think they can do that. or maybe some think that they also have a 'pretty' / 'macho' faces which is really perasan and they decided to do that too. doing something deplorable is worthless. eventhough you're quite or really handsome and pretty is it a must for you to do that? isn't that one girlfriend/boyfriend is just enough? pluss, when a girl do know that the boy do already have a girlfriend but still they want to flirt with these boys and so do boys. they think like "my girlfriend/boyfriend wouldn't know so let's hit it!" or "if my girlfriend/boyfriend find out, let it be lah. there are still lotsa hot guys/girls out there" or maybe "if she/he found out, do i care?" see, they treat people like they don't have feelings. why are you doing this? if you left the one you love for the sake of someone you like, maybe someone you like will leave you for someone they love and don't try to get what you like but just love what you have ;)

m o o d

okay i am currently getting fed-up with my mood. and i don't even know how to solve it. my parents nvr stop nagging at me day by day and it's totally messing me up to the maxxxx -_____- i wish they bisu somehow err no no i think i'll gonna miss them talking if they're bisu. well idk what things else better to do pluss this is a school holiday. so i am doing my own things and stuffs everydayy eventhough i know it is quite boring somehow. but i am trying my hardest to get this type of feeling away.

so, actually i am doing my job. and my job is thinking about my studies. well i am worried about my studies. my parents always nagged at me,

Papa - "Ailin, if you don't start to be excellent now, then when? Do you want to work as a waitress? Do you want to be jobless one day?"

Mama - "Ailin, kau satu-satunya anak mama. Dh tkde org lain dh mama nk berharap."

*sigh* i know people don't like to be nagged somehow. eventhough sometimes i feel like jumping out through the window eventhough i wish that i can fly so i can go away. but when i recall what they said, those words makes me cry. i am the one and only child. and i know i have a bigggggggg responsibility to hold. idk whether i can repay all their kindness and everything that they had gave it to me? idk whether i can make them happy in future like what they did now eventhough not all the time haih it's hard. i hanker to be genius err clever is just so enough. but idk why am i sooooo hard to put everything that i've learnt inside my head? and my marks in exams are not that high and sometimes terumbang-ambing and sometimes deplorable haih -_____- it's plaintiveful. parents nags, exams marks are just soooo bewildering inside my head and sometimes i feel like my head gonna explode. well i have to move on and make a new life, new journey.

i think that's all for now, done.

drop

well thanks for still reading my most boring blog -___-

and here i still want to post another blog eventhough it is boring and quite lame wtv.

so, nowadays there's lotsa things that are bewildering my head up. about exams, friends, parents of course and stuffs. it is do really really deplorable and twirling inside my head. and sometimes it makes my mood on and off. someday, problems come like really lots -____- it toughen me up. but no doubt this is life isn't it. and still, true friends do stick together no matter in thick or thin and they make my life good, thanks friends ;)

well, i just finished my exam. and totally it really sucks -____- now i got 2 D's for history and maths. no wonder lah sejarah always got D haha but i am immensely dissapointed with my maths cause it drops really high from A to D?! OMG -___- and im sure that my parents will be really mad at me. but no doubt again, this exam was totally hard -___- idk where did i made mistakes. haih wtv. and yet, i am still approving myself, my educations and stuffs. i don't want to be jobless in the future i don't want to be a minah rempit or bohsia somehow. in easy way is, i want to be a useful person.

err i think that's all for now cause idk what else to write in here. i will post again some other time. cheerssssss :)

Mid Year Exam

Okay finally Mid Year Exam is here and hell yeah i don't really do studies -____- There is still bunch of chapters from all subjects that i need to improve especially sejarah. I don't like reading, especially historical books. Every night on exam week i will sleep early so that i wouldn't get babble by my mom especially dad haha how stupid -__- but atleast i do did some readings in school. Gahh i think not really. But i think yes i did.

Idk what will happen to my results cause from my observations i think i will get low marks or maybe red pen on it especially sejarah. Eventhough i did read a lot but i am still don't remember and sometimes my head spinning and as i walk by word by word will drop out of my mind. This is seriously insane. I don't want to get babble by my parents ecpecially my teachers. Haih its hard to be genius. Plus, i am not a genius. And thats hard for me to get A's in all the subjects. Gosh. Mama always said that i can do it. Its just because im lazy. Yeah, im lazy. Especially in reading.

Well, lets see what will happen to my results.

pissed off

well, idk why am i writing this but idk who else that i can talk to.

haih idk whats wrong with him cause sometimes i feel like i dont like/even crave talking to him somehow. sometimes he is just being annoying and that makes me goes off. when he talk he just wanted to get mad and all. and day by day i dont like listening him talking whatsoever. and sometimes i wish he is bisu. err nahh i think i'll miss him talking if he is bisu though. but why are you being like this? cant you just talk nicely and respect people like they do have feelings just like you? is it soooo hard for you to understand? well agak lah kan. you want people to respect you even when they are talking to you. but you? we have to give and take. haih idk what happen to you now. you said that im useless and bla3 all shits and you hate seeing my face if my face look like menyampah but hello you think that i will smile eventhough you yell at me? no, i don't and i won't. haih idk what else to say but you pissed me off every day. and i dont fake this

love loves loved?

idk how i could like him. before this, i didnt realize at all. bt its been a while i do saw him in school or should i say we've knew each other for about 2years something and for sure we never talk to each other. i guess -.- some rumors said that he's a very untalkative person. and some rumors said that he's a bit 'sombong'. idk which one is true. bt who knows right. and noww, idk why i could likes him. we started to talked to each other since the training sessions, and again, he didnt talked a lot! or maybe again i should say that he's nt talking at all -_____-' others seems veryyy talkative and friendlyyy but when it comes to him it seems -____-' hurghh booorrrrinnnggggg -.- bt i think he's a very high quality in quiet ahaha actually i likes him because he's kind. not because of his face bt i think he is not really that perfectly handsome, maybe? bt i think it is true that 'A' said that 'he' said he didnt likes me. just being friends. bt that time where by 'F' said that he likes me. and when i looked at him, he seems very shyyy because that 'kids' were doing some ejek ejek something haha err about the 'A' said, i am a bit dissapointed ecehh :D bt i think i've made a decision that i would not like him too much and just remain friends :)

last day of fight for bola baling

today was the last day for our team to struggle for the bola baling because our school lost for 3-0 of perempuan air panas and 5-1 of wangsa maju zon R1. we didn't expect that we're being removed from the competition but at least we do won as the johan antara kumpulan on monday. alhamdulillah lah kan. although we didn't won today's games, we do worked for it as best as we can and that's all we can get. but but, today was the best day ever! there's lotsa things that happened today unexpectedly! which makes me go boom! ahaha :D seriously i won't forget today. all my 'crush' eceh :D was there to see us play ahaha idk what else to say. i even got chance to sit beside and even talked to himsss ahaha *lebih dari sorg :)) hahaha i do really really can't forget the things that we did today :) especially youu :D idk why i've a crush on you! OMG! the best part is when we sat together and you passed me the (something) :D and while sitting together awwwwwwww how i melt ahaha err i think that's all cause i can't story everything's here, (rahsia tetap rahsia) :D

traininggg

okay, today was quite happening because its raining haha plus haziqah also being something like setan hahaha first of all, around 3 something we reached school and waited for everybody to come. err i mean just the bola baling's players. and suddenly, alif went to sat infront of me and beside kak najlaa and started to called me 'jen' and hell yeah thats my brother's nick name. while at that moment, i was feeling sooo sleepy and i am truly yawning haha and i started to keep quiet and never stop asking kak najlaa and haziqah when are we gonna start the training? or else im going to sleep haha and i didnt expect that my brother was playing with the ball like crazy people with wearing his baju sekolah and carrying his bag and like alif said, "cuba kau tgk abg kau tu, da macam org iban dah aku tgk" hahaha


we've waited for a long longg time and luckily nabilla and lyna and also kak farah were starting to train on passing the ball to each other. and my brother, was laughing at me while im dancing on the court whithout wearing shoes hahaha :D i thought nobody saw me dancing hahaha then kak najlaa started to stand and we started to train. but before that we've to complete 1 whole turn of the field. while running, err i mean jogging, haziqah and kak najlaa started to sing and which idk what song is it. err actually i know but i can't remember the lyrics -.- and nabilla started to say "weh tukar lagu tukar lagu" haha and i expected the song that i likee but unfortunately haziqah started to sing the 'wilayah persekutuan song' haha hah layan je lah. then we started to sing together while completing 1 whole turn hahaha we were singing and laughing while jogging like hell! it was awesome! hahaha

after completing the 1 whole turn, we started to do the body warm up and started to play. haziqah asked us to try and shoot the ball to the goal. and luckily i did it! *kening kening hahaha then we started to play. under15 vs under18 hell yeah u18 tak cukup org haha terpaksa lah ktorg sedekah pemain cehh hahaha while playing, haziqah as usual was shouting to any player if we do not play well. and we started to play and play and play and while the goal keeper was going to took the ball thats getting farrrr away, i was dancing like hell and nasib baik tak jatuh terlentang hahaha because the field are full with mud OMG -.- and while playing jugak, kak najlaa and me were struggling the ball until she tergolek in the mud and her butt and her legs were totally fulled with mud haha sorry kak najlaa! :D then while playing again, nasib baik lagi sekali i didnt fall into the mud cause it is too slippery hahaha thambi was just looking and laughing at me -.- nvm

and the storm was getting louder and louder and we end the training a bit early. we were washing our pants, tudungs, bajus and whatsoever and azri(goal keeper u18 boys) was washing his hair, i think 1 whole body like he never saw water for a zillion yearss hahaha and we washed and washed and washed then we planned to go back home. lyna doesnt want to go home early and me, i wanted to go home early because i wanted to see spaQ! hahaha and i asked kak syikin to send me back home. then i ride a motorcycle with her. it was sooo cold! and it is still raining haih but what ever it is, thanks kak syikin :)

melt crush boom hahaha

ok look, idk where to start actually haha

ok ok lets see....-.- err
haa okay, idk whether he knows or not but i hope and i think he do not know cause i don't want him to know hahaha just now, while in school, he is sooo adorable hahaha idk how to explain -.-

but just now, when me nabilla and lyna were waiting for the bus to come, we were having some conversations and chit chatting about everything i guess but most of it was about crush hahaha sshhh! -.- suddenly, a boy riding a motorcycle passed thru and he throws a smile OMG im melting here remembering the tragedy hahaha OMG OMG! hehe :D i thought he was 'sombong' because he don't bother about the 'things things' even though we're in 'things things' hehe :D but i think he's not haha hehe hoho :D haih u make my world go round! grr hahaha aww hehe but i don't put a high hopes towards him. maybe :D err i think thats enough for now hehe :D

bare in ur mind

here's a fact that u must know about something. i ain't pretty neither a hottie and i live my life with my own kind of way and style plus i don't simply go and judge people when it's not true about them.

okay lets start, i am just being who i am and i don't be someone who i couldn't be. i do talk a lot when times ask me to talk haha but i also do a lot of hearing when times ask me to hear hahaha but i can be really talkative with someone who i am really comfortable with but not all type of people. when im being talkative with u then u would say that i am really comfortable with u. it is not. maybe u're just close to me at that time. but u can see that i am really really comfortable with my best friends. and of course we will create havoc haha err quiet? oh especially with strangers. exactly! i don't know why i am really quiet with strangers but i think it is not something weird. lots of people also like me right? haha but when some kind of people do having some mind sickness err i mean sekepala haha i can be friendly and talkative all of a sudden. it is because i like to be friend with someone who can be making friends hehe :D so get to choose ;)

and now, i just want to know, why some people loveeeee making up stories which is not true? is it sooooooo lovable? no i don't think so. i tell u what, sometimes peoples just talk whatever they want about us. but when it comes to things which is not true and makes people hate people, it is totally undeniable thing that we have to bring this up. yeah i admit that it is ur mouth and it is up to u to say whatever u want to say but pls do stop making up rumors. sometimes people do act over and they don't realize it. so do you. u can't simply judge people by the way they act especially by the way they look. not all type of human beings that we can simply judge them. what if u were in their shoes? what would u say if they never stop making a lots of fucked-up rumors about u? u would or probably knocked their head off or maybe u would just crack their heads against the wall isnt it? it is just the same thing that they felt when u're talking things that is not true about them. so bare in ur mind that we can't simply judge people all the way we want ;)

love story love letter wtv

first and foremost, i want to let you know that this is not a protest or wtv bla3=

i just want to tell you a thing or something. idk whether u're exist or not. but i think u do exist. when the first time we got to know each other, u're so kind like hell. and idk how i can or accidently fall in love with u. smone who i didn't know or even meet. i know this is crazy but i know and i trust that im not the only one who did fall in love with smone idk or even meet or should i call stranger. but thats the fact. it's quite a while since we started to know each other. and started to fall in love. and i think i don't have to story everythings here. and i know some of u already know about this.

i tell u what, for the first time we've been in hand, i know that u're the guy that im looking for all this while. and no one can replace u. and it was true. but im totally wrong. u started to change and change until idk who u really are. u're not the one that can hear my problems, the one that supports, the one that taking care of me all this while even though we never meet each other. but to me, u're just say it in words. not by actions. all u know is talk talk talk and talk. u said that u have nothing to do with them lah bla3 wtv shit that u're talking about. wtv lah kan -.- and if u are reading this, the worst thing is, u're not by my side in time i need u the most. idk where u are, where have u been. u treat me like i have no feelings. u said that u have feeling and i do hurt u a lot, but u didn't even think of me, the hurt that i hold all this while. i also have feelings. im human too, just like u. haih wtv -.-

and now, i won't disturb u and this time i am really serious about this and i do mean it. thanks for everything. but now i am erasing u and forgetting everything. those wordssss, times that we shared tgether, the memoriessss. im sorry but this time i really really have to be serious and i know u don't even care haha i got it ;) take care, man ;)

haha

today, 2nd march

me and nab were planning to go to kl to buy some thing. in the morning, nab came to my house around 10 then she was kebas-ing my curry puff haha it was her normal behaviour because she said that the curry puff was nice haha wtv lah kan. and then around 10.30 we were out from my house and walked to the taxi stand to pick a taxi. and while waiting, nab was having some trouble with her 'wedges' hahaha then we were up to setiawangsa lrt station. when we reached there, there's a 'pengawas skola rendah' bak kata nana haha and some other friends. we just make don't know cause we're not that close to them. one of them was looking at me like hell. wtf mann! mampos tak layan -.- then we just walked to the counter to buy tickets.

then while waiting the lrt to come, we were laughing like hell and nab never stop climbing here and there sitting all over every where haha then suddenly an indian guy came while talking to the phone. dia ckp sepatah haram pn ktorg tak faham hahaha then nab was laughing idk why lah budak ni kan haha then inside the train, she was looking at the indian guy which i said her part time 'boyfriend' hahaha then dah smpai klcc, we went to the money changer. nab tukar duit singapore 100 then dpt 200++ duit malaysia. woah! such a lots of moneyy haha then we walked and walked and walked straight to pavi then walked walked and walked until nab's foot gets hurt haha then she wanted to go and buy a flip flops. then we went in the paul frank. choose choose and choose then paid already and out from that shop. then next we went into nose because nab wants to buy a watch. okay lah but i was getting uncomfortable because i didn't found my pants yet. then we were up to sg wang. on the way thru, there's a guy selling the tikus mainan which makes nab soo scared hahahahaha and while passing thru, nab never stop pulling me and she's like running away hahaha silly nab!

then, in sg wang, we saw the shop that i wanted to buy my pants and suddenly tkde the type that i want. OMG! and next we went into parkson. one of the guys dkt situ mcm pundek. nab rajin melayan. da la ckp aku pakai seluar tido kepale hotak dia ah kan hahaha then we walked and walked until we got lost hahaha dah la tktau jalan keluar from sg wang. tak ingat masuk dr mana smpai buat one whole turn 360degree hahaha bodoh je -.- then up to lot10. went into the shop then seluar pulak tkde. dah tak tahan then we went back to pavi for having lunch. lapar nk mampos. then we sat and eat then we went to j.co. in the j.co, nab had fall in love with 2 of the guys whoa sekali 2 hahaha dah la endon haha kt sini boleh la cintan cintan balik endon bercucuk tanam hahahahaha

then we started to walked back to klcc. it was tiring -.- then we went into everlast because nab wanted to buy her school shoes. i was like her mother because im the one who check whether the size fits her or not hahaha wtv lah kan -.- then we went into i-setan and parkson and i saw one of the baju idk what to call it haha it is nice. then i bought it. nab sponsor 20 haha thanks nab! :) then i started to talked about a cap. and nab had fall in love with one of the cap from padini authentics hahaha then she bought it. then out form i-setan and next we went to buy my pants and luckily ada! haha thank god! then jalan jalan tgk jam. its quite cheap. 3 for RM46. ok lah kan. we bought it 3. one for me one for nab and one for evon ;)
then we planned to go home. already tired! never stop walking -.- then thats it lah haha what a wonderful day to remember :) im gonna miss the moment. what ever it is, thanks for everything nab :) i love you, friend :) muah muah :*

bola baling's selections/mama's birthday ;)

yesterday, 24th feb *on the same day/date of my mom's birthday :)

first of all, idk that nabilla asked me to join the bola baling. but idk how to play at all! hahaha but she said that "kau masuk je, main je. nnt aku ajar la wtv sume" then i was like, baik punya kawan haha so i just joined. and yesterday, in the evening around 2.50 i managed to reached school. but me and nab were playing laughing lepak-ing around until cikgu azlin had already sat at the field and wait for us and the others. u know what, when we reached there, unluckily we have to pumping, is it the way how to spell? haha wtv about 10 times OMG! sbb lambat haha dah la lama tak sukan tetibe kena pumping haih -.- and then we have to run all the way the court turn and turn and turn around 10 times also haiyo nk membawa perut ni alahai haha and then, we started to do the stretching and all.

then we started to play play play and play. main dgn kakak senior best! kak najla which also known as 'zaiton sape'ah' hahahahaha never stop screaming and shouting hahaha bak kata kak najla, "make some noise yeahhh baby yeahhh" hahaha then while playing kak kila asked us to make a wall haha then aku pon jerit je lah wall wall tp tak buat hahahahahaha and then we play and play and play until my foot gets hurt. but i just ignore it and just go on with the playing tgh syok nihh haha then dah tak tahan, i get out of the field and let others in and i sat beside nabilla. then i open my shoes and i found out that my stocking got some blood hah dah agak mmg terkopek, agak dalam. then dah tak main. just walked to the office to get some plaster. but the kerani said that plaster hbes hah sudah but she just put some cream ape tah. pedih dia tak yah ckp ah en then dia balut lah ape. nabilla was the one that keeping me accompany and dia dah tak larat so just sat on the floor hahaha then mcm mcm lah kerani tu tanya haha penat nk jawab haha then dh tak main. duduk je lah. seksa! jalan ke mana mana dgn berkaki ayam adoii -.-' then i go to the public phone to call mama and asked papa to come and take me back home. then just go back to the field and talked and talked and laughed about the pepek ape sume hahaha lancau btol haha then ckgu azlin said that me lyna shaz and nabilla were selected! excited jugak sbb dpt hehe then hbes


then we walked and sat at the place antara dewan and the laman ape ke namenye tah ah mamposs. we just talked and talked and laughed and all and looked at the rumah sukan punya cheer konon nye lah haha then i wanted to wait at the bus stop dpn skola to wait for papa. then on the way to the bus stop, nabilla and nab were carrying me at the back haha the best friend! thanks guyss :) then lyna was the one that holding my shoes haha thanks also ;) then i just walked. tak kan nk suruh diorg angkat kan. ringan hah aku haha then dkt luar pagar skola jumpa lah syakir gemok tuu haha then dia cover cover then i said "ni ha syakir gampang slalu tarik tudung org" hahaha relaxxxx then dh smpai i just sat at the bus stop, penat -.- then kebas air nab haha then nabilla and nab lagi hahaha kesian diorg but thanks :) then we talked and talked and talked haha then papa sampai so blah. hari yg paling best! never forget hehe a lots of memoriessss :)

then at the night, me and papa decided to bring mama out and had dinner at the splendid. we ordered 1 plate of black pepper chicken chop, 1 bowl of prawn mee, 1 plate of sweet sour chicken, 1 bowl of mixed vege, 1 plate of fish and chips, 1 glass of iced blended white chocolate mocha, 1 glass of strawberry milk shake, 1 slice of pistachio cake and 1 slice of chocolate ape tah cake haha its quite nice but i just love the iced blended white chocolate mocha sedappppp! grr :D then the waiter was a boy that i knew haha budak skola stw kott haha then eat and eat and talked and talked haha then hbess the we shoot back home. its awesome! a night to remember also haha so thats all lah ;)

hate hating hater hated

being hated by someone or should i say human is the common thing in life isnt it?

but here's a thing, if somebody/someone wants to hate us as much as they want, go ahead but why they must talk something which is not true or even exist? and yeah we as a normal human being cannot run from doing lots of mistakes right. but it doesnt mean u as a third person can do/say/act like "oh yeah, u're bad, people hate u even ur bestfriend". u know what, if u don't know anything, dont judge. just keep ur mouth shut.

but we know u're just want to win some attentions so that people will like u or wtv thingsss. i didnt say that im too perfect but pls mind what u're saying/doing. sometimes, what we do, for us, it is just like normal. but to others maybe their sensitive. why dont we take care of thier feelings though? their human and have feelings just like us isnt it? what if they do the same thing towards u? u would feel the same way like what they feel when u do this and that towards them right. so bare in ur mind, not all type of peoples/human beings are so-called perfect. sometimes u would just judge people by the way they look. but why u do that? and u would just judge people by the way they act. sometimes, they dont perasan that what they do/act might get peoples want to crack their heads against the wall but sometimes we're just same like they are. so mind ur mouth/words before u talk/simply judge people. cheerssss! ;)

does it will become reality? hahaha doesn't make sense!

hahaha the story is like this,

one day while recess (in school), i was sitting next to lyna and nabilla. nabilla was eating like hell thousand yearss never eat hahaha and lyna was soo hungry and she was begging nabilla to give her some nasi lemak and guess what, nabilla won't give it haha and she said, kau pegi lah beli sndri aku lapar nihh haha nabilla lupa psl PROGRAM DIET dia ngn aku haha kejam.
but then, i was just watching them fighting and argue and fighting with each other and bla3 and all of a sudden, that spiderman haha came and sat beside me. i was soo surprised apahal ngn mamat ni kan hahaha the other students were just looking and staring at us and thats frightened me haha but then he was soooooooooooo cute! grr :D u drive me crazyyyyy hahahahaha *cairrrrrrrr :)) then, he invite me to share a plate of nasi lemak with him and huh? biar betul budak ni tkde angin tkde ribut tetibe jee hahahahaha agak segan but i just eat some. pssttttt, the one we like kalau dia ajak share makan tak kan tak nak kan? cewahh hahaha -.- then after finished, i was like, pahal dia ni tak blah lg kan haha then i said, if nk naik class dlu pegi lah *gagap wehh haha then he replied, its okay. i nk naik dgn u aloloh comel jeee hahaha handsomee grr cairr lagi nihh hahaha then one of his friends called him and he got to go. then he said byebye haha comelllllllllll! hehe :D

act, it is just a dream hahahahahaha which i won't forget, perhapss hahaha :D