m o o d

okay i am currently getting fed-up with my mood. and i don't even know how to solve it. my parents nvr stop nagging at me day by day and it's totally messing me up to the maxxxx -_____- i wish they bisu somehow err no no i think i'll gonna miss them talking if they're bisu. well idk what things else better to do pluss this is a school holiday. so i am doing my own things and stuffs everydayy eventhough i know it is quite boring somehow. but i am trying my hardest to get this type of feeling away.

so, actually i am doing my job. and my job is thinking about my studies. well i am worried about my studies. my parents always nagged at me,

Papa - "Ailin, if you don't start to be excellent now, then when? Do you want to work as a waitress? Do you want to be jobless one day?"

Mama - "Ailin, kau satu-satunya anak mama. Dh tkde org lain dh mama nk berharap."

*sigh* i know people don't like to be nagged somehow. eventhough sometimes i feel like jumping out through the window eventhough i wish that i can fly so i can go away. but when i recall what they said, those words makes me cry. i am the one and only child. and i know i have a bigggggggg responsibility to hold. idk whether i can repay all their kindness and everything that they had gave it to me? idk whether i can make them happy in future like what they did now eventhough not all the time haih it's hard. i hanker to be genius err clever is just so enough. but idk why am i sooooo hard to put everything that i've learnt inside my head? and my marks in exams are not that high and sometimes terumbang-ambing and sometimes deplorable haih -_____- it's plaintiveful. parents nags, exams marks are just soooo bewildering inside my head and sometimes i feel like my head gonna explode. well i have to move on and make a new life, new journey.

i think that's all for now, done.