YOU

i don't know what's happening right now. everything's not under control. even if i beg you not to leave, there's no meaning & maybe it is time for me to go. i didn't meant to do this but i have to. i wrote this for the last time, & i know you wouldn't read it. i am really sorry for what i've done wrong to you, my words, my acts & stuffs. and now i will leave & not going to disturb you anymore. thanks for our friendship, thanks for all the memories, thanks for all the acting, thanks for all the dramas, thanks for everything. take a good care of yourself. you're already happy right now & hope that you'll always be happy. i don't have much words left to say, so enjoy your life & take care again ;)

sincerely,
Ailin :)

I have to..

Okay now i am here to just seek for your forgiveness if there's anything i did wrong or my words that might hurt you, I AM SORRY. & now, i just don't know what to do, what's going to happens next. i try to treat people nicely & equally but i don't know why is all this happened to me. maybe i am giving too many chances -.-

i think all this while i am in the wrong place of placing myself perfectly around others,
until they all get mess-up
i am in the wrong position of making people's day, not in the right time,
i am too forcing someone to be by my side,
i am too harsh of treating people,
i treat people by my mood,
i don't treat them nicely,
i don't think before i act,
sometimes i make others feel so uncomfortable,
i said what i want, i do what i want until i forget about taking care of what others might feel,
i didn't mean to. I AM SORRY.

if to you i did nothing, or you have already forget about it, but i am still wrong.
i am sorry about making you sad,
i am sorry about making you angry,
i am sorry about making your days bad,
i am sorry if i did take advantages on you,
i am sorry for letting you down in any ways which i didn't realized,
i am sorry for being stupid,
i am sorry for not being a good friend of yours,
i am sorry i can't be a perfect person of yours,
i did a lot of mistakes,
i know.

& i think, now, it is time for me to change, change everything,
i have to fix all the mess up that is me,
i have to learn from my past,
i have to take this as a lesson,
i really have to change, yes, it is the time :)


*& for _____ who did ask me to throw away any feelings towards you (well you know -.-) , don't worry, I WILL :) i know you might feel uncomfortable with me, or i am just making a mess in your life, I AM SO SO SORRY, i didn't mean to but i'll leave you, i'll sets you free, you can do what you want, you can go where you want, it is your life isn't it? don't worry :)
well, it is my mistakes for loving you, SORRY AGAIN. have a wonderful day, take care ;)

end '09

I am still not ready to leave this year, 2009. & if possible, i don't want this year to end, i don't want this year to go, i want to re-start this year, may i? *sigh* I have been through a lot of things in this year, taught me a lot of new things, about how to choose a good better friends ever, how to differentiate between good & bad, how to be more independent, more mature without thinking about others might said. but in this situation, i am still don't know what am i did wrong because people never stop talking bad about me, about who am i being friends with. but i don't care about what they will say or might just accusing me without knowing anything, well that's we call 'mulut orang' -.-

People loveeeeee to judge other people, meanwhile they don't even know what they did, what they said that might just letting other people or even us put a judge back on them. well, let's just put this aside. this topic is just boring & lame somehow HA-HA.

Okay so, in this year, i admit that i am a bit wilder than before, but i am still know how to control myself & not getting involve in such things that i did before or maybe just more bad. *i hope not! well i think you don't have to know HAHA :P hm i don't know how am i getting to stand on my own feet, leading my own life without someone that i can rely on, best friends beside me, standing tall together, been through good & bad moments together, i mean, they are just so nice to me. i don't know how to repay back all their kindness towards me. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FRIENDS :) i don't even want to lose them. friends are hard to find, maybe it is easy for you to say, but for me, true friends are really hard to find, really hard to replace. even ONE -.-'
but i need to realize that takkan forever aku nak bergantung hidup dengan orang kan? but let's just give me some time, some space to move on & facing all things in my life that will coming to show up.

maybe some other day, perhaps. but i think not now, for sure ;) i really need someone to rely on right now. i am not ready at all :) sorry

thank you for reading this boring blog -____-' byeee

after PMR

Hello guyssss, I am sorry for the late post because i am quite busy & for sure don't have things to write about. so, sorry againnnn.

Since the PMR already past, there's quite a lot of activities that school provided like bola jaring, bola baling, futsal, tarik tali & stuffs. it was quite fun somehow even though there were team mates that do not come to show themselves up & get themselves in the group. it was quite pissed-off because we have to work harder & get enough players. but it's okay we still having fun with others & without THEM *sigh -.-'

So, currently i just got back here from Taiping & Ipoh. me & nabila followed amalina to her hometown. we were having lots of fun there. we did bunch of activities there especially in Taiping. the lake garden was so amazing which have lots of trees, i mean different trees that was not here in KL. okay, the first day we reached Perak, we went to Kuala Kangsar. we went to Istana Kenangan & Sultan Azlan Shah's Gallery. the place was so amazing. we took quite loads of photos since we are all the camera maniac haha

Then after that we went to amalina's opah's house. her opah was rock youuu haha i like her *haaaaa -.- then we went to mandi sungai. the water was so cold -.- & guess what, one of the frog jumped towards me, as usual i am the one who scared with frogs screamed & jumped onto nabila's body ahaha amalina & nabila was laughing at me like hell. suddenly, the big katak sat on one of the rock & stared at us. we then moved away & started to go home. then, we took a shower and we took our lunch & after that started to sleep. but unfortunately, we can't even closed our eyessss haha because we never stop laughing & fighting with each other. then everybody started to get sleep, & yeah they already slept. so the 3 of us took the camera out & went outside of the house & took pictures haha each photos we took we laughed looking at it because there were pictures that was so funny hahaha

Then, in the evening, we prepared ourselves to go out. amalina's dad dropped us at the lake garden. it was soo sooooo beautiful. we started to planned to ride the swan thing but the swan only can fit 2 person. so we decided to rent a sampan which we had make quite stupid decision. susah bodoh nak dayung sampan tu. we work together & change shift to dayung the sampan. our hands' getting cramp, oh boy -.- the sampan was not moving i tell you. but with patience, finally we did it! the sampan was moving but it was quite hard to stabalize the sampan. the sampan kept turn round & round *pfft. tapii, we had so much fun. yay us! -.-

After that, we went for dinner & got back home. we were so tired & took a rest. we then took lotsa pictures again & recorded some videos hahaha we started to felt sleepy but we can't sleep like usual because we can't even stop laughing hahaha laugh laugh & laugh finally semua tidur. on the next day, we went to Bukit Larut, it was a beautiful amazing place everrr! with the cold air & the trees was amazing. we always said that the trees there was just like in the Twilight movie haha spider monkey :D and off, amalina's dad dropped us at the Taiping Sentral. we watched a movie, Papadom. it was absolutely nice! then we cried haha how sweet the movie was. then we started to feel the tired as our ankles already jammed. so we went home.

In the night, we waited for amalina's auntie (acik) to come. then we took our dinner. & off to bowling haha we had a lot of fun & i am proud of myself sebab strike 2 kali. i didn't know lagipun first time main. so whatever it is, congratulations haha on the next day we shoot off to Ipoh, then we spent for about 2 hours playing games & watching TV's programmes. in the evening, amalina's dad dropped us at the Ipoh Parade where the place were full with boyans, rempit, punks, whatsoever pfft -.-' we then played bowling. after that habiss then we walked & did some shopping. i mean, amalina did. not us. after that we went home & wait for the dinner. after having our dinner, we then rest ourselves on the tilam while watching movie.

In the morning, wan, which is amalina's grandmother, set up breakfast & we helped wan too. after breakfast, we then off back to KL. before that, we went to rawang i think, i mean near to rawang, we went to bihah's house as long time didn't meet her haha we took pictures & had lunch. after that we went home. finally -.- penat, but we had lotsa fun there. i missed Taiping already :(

*Sorry malas nak letak gambar dekat blog.
p/s : view it in myspace. thanks :)

Hello RAYA :)

As we keep counting days for puasa, now we are just in the end of puasa and hello RAYA :)


In the mean time, I still can't believe that puasa is already in the end -.-' i thought that it was just started. Well, face the facts ailin :D


Actually i am totally rushed and focused in counting days for PMR to be held. *sigh -.- I thought that i can celebrate raya this year with full of joy but i can't. Raya is raya, PMR is PMR. Eventhough PMR is just around the corner but I still don't full get ready to sit for PMR -.-' Thinking about future, about what going to happen next is just messing me up. I don't really ready to stand in the crowd alone. But that is life. We can't just hoping & keep relying on people's butt.


But in this year, I learnt lotsa things in my life. New things. About friendships, loves, single, couples, etc. I am proud of myself for being a bit adult and learn to survive without fully craving for people's helps. I am a bit grown up day by day with new kinda things everyday. Yes, go ailin! ;)


And i think that's all for now, I will be posting another blog soon. And thanks cause reading it ;)

P/s : For anybody who do know me, I would like to seek for your forgiveness towards all my wrong-doings all this while including I realised or I didn't realised at all. I am sorry. I am totally regret it. Especially for those whom I always hurt your feelings. I am so so sorry. I didn't meant to do those things to you. Well, people make mistakes right. And now, I already realised my mistakes and hoping that you guys will forgive me. Again, if ada TERkasar bahasa, TERsalah tutur kata, TERejek lebih ke, TERkutuk ke, padanlah muka *JOKE! haha :D TERtiru jawapan ke, TERpukul kuat ke, apa-apa yang TER lah, sorry again.

And lastly, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN :)

I Love You & Take Care <33

Lots of loves,
Ailin ;)

Convo with madu 'S'

[23:34] elinailin : ARU MATAAAAAAAAAAA!
[23:34] elinailin : :))
[23:35] nurulnabyila : aru dahi!!!!!!!!
[23:35] elinailin : ahahahaha poyo lah kau!
[23:35] elinailin : eeee nanti jadi madu doo
[23:35] elinailin : hahahahaha lebih baik dari 'tuut'
[23:35] elinailin : eh btw diet kita nk bagi gelaran apa?
[23:35] elinailin : haaa aru segala aru nak? HAHAHA
[23:35] nurulnabyila : tak nak la !
[23:35] nurulnabyila : tak pyh gelaran !
[23:35] nurulnabyila : tak pyh ckp psl dia ok?
[23:36] elinailin : oh ok ok
[23:36] elinailin : ha'ah kann buat sakit hati jee sakit babi haha
[23:36] nurulnabyila : haha
[23:36] nurulnabyila : tau pon kau !
[23:36] elinailin: eh b, nanti kita nk kawin dkt mana? garden? atas bukit? hahaha
[23:36] elinailin : tapi kalau dgn aru dahi kena dekat kuil :))
[23.36] nurulnabyila : tak nak
[23:36] nurulnabyila : nnti ade hantu mate terbeliak kt sne !@-)
[23:36] nurulnabyila : haah
[23:36] elinailin : AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[23:36] elinailin : aru mata india jugak eh? eh tkpelah dia ada. dia boleh jadi spotlight dkt sana ahahaha
[23:37] nurulnabyila : haha
[23:37] nurulnabyila : kau bulan pose lahh !
[23:37] nurulnabyila : tak baik !
[23:37] elinailin: eleh kauuuuuuu tk baik konon
[23:37] nurulnabyila: aku rindu WAN lahhh :x
[23:37] elinailin: yg kau ejek aku pasal madu madu tadi apa? baik pulak?
[23:37] elinailin: WAN?
[23:37] elinailin: hoooooooo
[23:37] nurulnabyila: hehe
[23:37] elinailin: i lap WAN ahahaha
[23:38] elinailin: nabila, kau nk letak nama anak kau apa?
[23:38] elinailin: FAISAL YUSUF aku punya!
[23:39] elinailin:: ;P
[23:39] nurulnabyila: amek la
[23:39] nurulnabyila: aku dah ade nama laen lahh

[23:39] elinailin: apa? aru mata? AHAHAHA
[23:39] nurulnabyila: ape mslah kau ?
[23:39] nurulnabyila: nak sgt ke aru mata tuh ?
[23:39] nurulnabyila: amek la wehh
[23:40] nurulnabyila: aku tak hingin ponn
[23:40] nurulnabyila: @-)
[23:40] elinailin: haa tau pon! kau tu tk habes habes pasal MADU THE CLIMB -.-
[23:40] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:41] elinailin: aku tak sukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :@)
[23:41] nurulnabyila: ahah
[23:41] elinailin: aku rela jadi madu kau doh
[23:41] elinailin: hahaha
[23:41] nurulnabyila: :@)
[23:42] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:42] nurulnabyila: aku yg tak rela dohh
[23:42] nurulnabyila: wan aku punya sorang lahh
[23:43] elinailin: eeeee aku tknk pn lah wan tuu
[23:43] elinailin: amik ahhhh
[23:43] elinailin: aku ada SPIDERMAN
[23:43] elinailin: :p
[23:43] elinailin: JOHOR pn aku punya :p
[23:43] elinailin: F2 lyna punyaaa :p
[23:44] nurulnabyila: ye lahh
[23:44] nurulnabyila: amek lahh
[23:44] nurulnabyila: aku punya WANNNNNNN
[23:44] nurulnabyila: :))
[23:44] elinailin: lohhhhh eeeeee perasan lah sial!
[23:44] elinailin: confident tu cakapppp
[23:44] elinailin: walawehhhhhhh
[23:44] elinailin: cehh nabila dh pndai dh skrg kannnn
[23:44] elinailin: org bagi makan mcm ni kau kannnn HAHAHA
[23:45] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:45] nurulnabyila: tade la
[23:45] nurulnabyila: aku berangan je lahh
[23:46] elinailin: elehhhhh kauuu hahaha
[23:46] elinailin: mlm ni berangan naik pelamin hahaha
[23:46] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:46] nurulnabyila: tadi en ,
[23:47] nurulnabyila: wan tu en , pndg aku mcm tau je aku ske dia ahah
[23:47] elinailin: elehhhhhhhhh nanti kalau dia tau menggelabah tetek kau hahaha
[23:48] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:48] nurulnabyila: tu lah
[23:48] nurulnabyila: aku tak mau la dia tau
[23:48] nurulnabyila: bia je la aku sorang je
[23:49] elinailin: elehhhh tgk tgk dia pn suke kau jugak ehh hooooooo :D
[23:53] elinailin: aiiii angau kt WAN pon agak agak ar biar aku chat sorg ennnnn
[23:54] nurulnabyila: hehe
[23:54] nurulnabyila: aku tak tua nak ckp ape
[23:54] elinailin: kau dh ngntok ckp je arrr haha
[23:56] nurulnabyila: tak de lah
[23:56] nurulnabyila: aku bosan nih
[23:56] elinailin: kau tk ngntok ke?
[23:57] nurulnabyila: belom lah
[23:57] nurulnabyila: jap lgi kot
[23:58] elinailin: weh k ar aku nk out. byeeeee ;)
[23:59] nurulnabyila: nye
[23:59] nurulnabyila: byee the climb !
[23:59] elinailin: babiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
[23:59] elinailin: :@):@):@):@):@):@):@)
[23:59] nurulnabyila: haha
[23:59] nurulnabyila: adek aku pon tau la babi mcm tu rupa dia !
[00:00] elinailin: aku tak kata pon adik kau tktau
[00:00] elinailin: aku nk tunjuk tulah rupa MONYET
[00:01] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:01] nurulnabyila: dia tau la monyet mcm mne !
[00:01] elinailin: eeee diam ah aku tk suke
[00:02] elinailin: kau dh madu dgn S dh arrrrr haha
[00:02] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:02] nurulnabyila: babiiii
[00:03] elinailin: haaaaa tau ponnnnnnn
[00:03] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:03] elinailin: (m) 'A' monyet tuh ahahahaha
[00:03] nurulnabyila: haha
[00:03] nurulnabyila: ye lah kau !
[00:04] elinailin: dah byeeeeee! madu S
[00:04] elinailin: :))
[00:05] nurulnabyila: B-)

Heh -.-

I don't want this year to end,
I don't want to leave this form 3,
I don't want to be separated with my friends,
I don't want to survive alone,
Although,
things might change,
but I want those memories remain the same.
Things that we shared,
laughters, thick & thin in life,
would be the most memorable part.
Eventhough we know that
we will be separated one day,
but still
hand in hand, heart to heart
we will never ever be apart.
Even day by day past,
but still we never forget about the past.


Memories will forever will become memories.
Let past be history, even zillion miles away we're being separated but still close to heart ;)



* I LOVE YOU, FRIENDS :)

Fasting Month

Yeah, school holidays start so do fasting month. it's been a while due to the last fasting month left us. And here it comes :)
Eventhough in the month of fasting, there is no rest. brain can't rest so do hands. Exam is just around the corner and still, i am not ready. I don't want this year to end. *sigh -.-

And yes, reducing my extra fats, here and there in this fasting month is just and advantage. Big thighs, big tummy, big arms and stuffs. Due to this one month fasting, i have to guide my stomach to control craving for foods. Stop it -.-
For this month, i am hoping that i could change everything. From bottom to top. To be better. Much better. Getting myself near to Allah and get rid of my last sins are also an advantage to be a better person and start a new life. Prove me right, this month is the time. The time for you to change, the time for you to stop all the shit things while the creatures that we called 'syaitan' are being held with chain. And now i am losing my vocabs book and craving for words and ideas, i think it's better for me to stop here.

Notes : For those who think they can't fast or don't want to fast or fast because of force, and just for stupid things, better don't. You are wasting your time, your energy. But don't drag peoples around you to go to hell with you ;)

And lastly, Happy Fasting Month :)

i wish..

As time passing by, I am getting older and older. Things are getting harder, problems are getting bigger, friends come and go. Sometimes im just being stutter looking at all things that are happening around right now. And sometimes i feel i can't stand this anymore and i wish that i was born in the other part of this world. I can't even do anything except for just praying that things might change to be in better way, to be in good terms.
How i wish things might be better,
I wish that i could change these days,
to be a better days
throw all the tears and hurts away
I wish i could look in the future
so that i could plan better things
I wish that i could stand still
even in the hardest part
and be a strong person
without hanker for people's help
I wish i have someone for me to rely on
so that he/she would be the one who is lending their shoulder for me to cry on
and would do the same thing even in the other moments
This journey is still far
as im still the only daughter in my family, the only child
i don't know whether i could still stand facing all these sort of things in life
when my parents are no longer beside me
Sometimes i feel that i wanted to go first
and sometimes i think i can't
It's hard for me
I wish that all my dreams will come true,
even there are zillion prayers that i pray
as i keep on praying day by day
But,
if one day i am really in a big bad moments, i wish that there is someone that could still sit beside me and say, things will change to be in better ways :)

feelings

Have you been thru part that people or someone you trust or even your bestfriends did things that might hurt your feelings? and for sure you guys did. and how does it feels? i bet it doesn't feels good at all. and sometimes im just hoping that i could turn 'em down or just shoot 'em up. or maybe sometimes i would just wanted to be deaf so that i wouldn't be able to hear all those nonsense. but for sure i don't want to be deaf. sometimes things might not be the same. things that we never expected to hear/do would unfortunately happens. people talk what they want eventhough they didn't know the truth. they don't even want to try and figure out the true things and keep on talking shits. i don't mind if some of 'em want to talk this and that about someone. maybe there's thing that they don't like. but could you please talk to that someone nicely. is it so hard? some words might hurt people's feelings. not to you, but maybe to them. try to understand people's feelings. try to get to know them deeper. don't just follow what your heart said. don't be selfish you fool!

*and to those that being this type of unable to understand human, try to change babee. it's good for you. and please please please don't be selfish. it is immensely annoying -___- pfft

btw thanks for reading ;)