Currently

When boredom strikes, i just hoping that things would be better than before, there is a new thing to try, something exciting. Even alone, but i don't care. Just hoping that i could feel the excitement. I don't hanker to have someone that would cheer me up, I don't hanker having friends which is total fake, I don't hanker to have someone to bring the excitement. If there is one, i would be happy. Too much fake friends nowadays. They are taking advantages on chances given. They are just being selfish. I don't say ALL. I think it's time for me to live on my own not keep relying on someone's life. I just want someone that is true. True in every ways. I admit that nowadays i ignore ppl much. Especially if they are being super duper boring ppl. Ask stupid questions, same stupid questions, again and againnnnnnn -_____- pfft. I'm sorry to say this, but it's my blog, it's my site, and it's my feelings.

Thanks for reading

just a cat?!

Haha okay well, this morning like usual, i was walking to the tapak perhimpunan with julie and all. I was wondering where is this nabila? Well, no doubt she always late. No doubt again, because she's walking from house to school. To me it is quite farrr because of my laziness -_____- She always said that "aku nk kurus!" and even my 'project' also is not working. I mean, she's the one who didn't want to follow the schedule heh and what else to say, go walk! Go nabila go! haha

So, around 7.30 i think cause i don't rmember what's the time. *mcm lah tgk jam haha
So, i was waiting for this nabila to come. And while waiting and searching for her, my eyes were catch with this boy which is her crush *woot woot haha and i said, "nabila, you'll be proud knowing this later" haha cause he didn't came to school for about a week -___- and i believed, this nabila missed him sooo sooo sooo mucho mucho gituu :D and off, this nabila finally arrived. And i said,

Me : Nabila, asal tudung kau kotor hah?

Nabila : Yeke? Laa apahal doh? Tipu ah

Me : Lantak kau ah sumpah kotor. Tak caye tnya ah a'an ika sume.

A'an : A'ah la nabila, kotor. Kan ika?

Ika : A'ah.

Nabila was so panic at that time...

Nabila : Weh Ailin jom teman aku g tndas.

Me : Yelahh nabila

Nabila as usual, babble all herself all along the pathway to the toilet. Then, we put our bags and the KH stuffs wtv thingy and off to the toilet.

Nabila : Weh mana ada kotor

Me : Ada ah kau ni bukak ah tudung tu pastu tgk apa masalahnye?

And nabila take off her tudung and take a look at it

Nabila : Ha'ah doh lin. Apahal ha? Tkkn iron aku yg kotor kot..

Me : Mana lah aku tau. Kau ni suke je kotor sana kotor sini


As time passing by and the assembly is just going to start, Nabila was washing her tudung and suddenly, i felt that something beside me whereas there is no one inside the toilet except for me and nabila. Suddenly that thing jumped into the sink and i scream like the whole school could hear. Nabila which didn't see that thing at all was just scream also and we ran to the other part in the toilet. And there's a prefect, boy prefect was just looking in the toilet which is the screams came from. I was immensely shocked like hell -___- pfft. And while we were laughing at each other, suddenly that thing jumped onto floor and ran out. Nabila was shocked again and she scream for the second time. I was awaked by her voice screaming while im relaxing myself cause by that thing. And nabila said, it looks like kaki toyol wtv shit budak tu merapu. That time i feel like, "im gonna die this time -___-" but this nabila could just even laughed at me pfft -_____-

Nabila : Weh apahal doh kau jerit? Kau nmpak ape?

Me : Kucing doh

Nabila : Ahahahaha lawak doh kau. Kucing pun kau nk jerit

Me : Kepala hot kau lah tak jerit. Dh la tkde org dlm tndas ni, kita je. Aku tgh tgk kau basuh tdung pastu tetibe aku rasa ada bnde kt sebelah. Atas sinki pulak tu, mana aku tk jerit. Kau pn jerit gak en

Nabila : Ahahaha ye ah aku terkejut gila ah asal kau tetibe jerit. Aku jerit je ah. Kau jerit dh ah mcm org terkejut gila

Me : Memang ah doh. Aku tk expect pn ada kucing. Haih nauzubillah

Nabila : Ahahaha nasib baik tk keluar doh. dgn aku tk pakai tudung ahahaha

Me : Ahahaha dah la ada abg pengawas tgk dlm tndas ni tadi ahaha kelakar je doh

Nabila : Ahahahahaha kau ah! Pegi jerit, terkejut aku kau tau

Me : Ahaha sorry ah doh. Mana tk terkejut, kucing tu sebelah aku. Kau tak rasa cmne. Kuat ke aku jerit?

Nabila : Kuat doh ahahaha ailinn ailinn...

Makcik kedai buku : Eh kenapa jerit jerit ni?

Me : Tkde, tadi ada kucing lompat

Makcik kedai buku : Apalah kamu ni, kucing pn takut


And off, me and nabilla were just laughing at each other remembering the moment ahahaha bodoh punye kucing! -_____-

So, that's all for now, end ;)

nowadays...

First of all, I want to apologise for being quite 'sombong' lately. And to those that might hurt with my words, sorry also. *bnyk mencarut -.- seriously pfft

Okay, well idk why lately i have been quite 'sombong' or maybe too 'sombong'. Maybe my best friends didn't noticed it cause they have been with me all the time. So, they think and believed that i am just act like normal cause when im with them, we're like usual. Sharing things together. Laugh together. And of course mencarut much *it's me, yeah i know -.-


Idk why i don't really bother what's going on in my surroundings, i don't bother if teacher is in my class, i don't bother to study, i don't bother what my parents say, i don't bother everything. I just think lots of things that i am not supposed to care. Okay, im being honest. I have been thinking about my ex. I mean not sweet things bla3 wtv shit it is. (berjangkit dgn amin, grr -.-) I have been thinking about my past. Good and bad. I have been thinking about my parents, my studies which is going down day by day. I don't even know how to get rid of those things that im not supposed to think so that i could get back in my real life and keep going on. And of course keep focusing on my studies cause PMR is just around the corner. My mood swings a lot. Sometimes it's really good and outstanding but sometimes it's getting bad and worse. I think about all shit things. Especially in class. So do in home.


Haih idk whyyyyy. In fact, my marks are going down exams by exams. And there is an upcoming test. OMG -.- idk whether i can still score or maybe just keeping my marks going down. I always get babbled by my parents. I know i should get that from them. It's my fault. It is not because i don't want to study. It is not because i don't bother about my studies at all. It is just, idk why. That's all i can say. Lately i try not to talk to my parents much cause i don't want to. I don't want them to babble all the time. I just loved being alone. Or maybe with my friends. They're just special to me. They stick together no matter what. But not all of 'em. I repeat, NOT ALL. But it's okay. I don't seek being friends with 'em. I think that's all for now. I'll write again soon.

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boyfriend?

Im too bored -___-' Words finish already haha

Okay so, boyfriend? haha -____-

Well, i am not too choosy or jual mahal thing but yet, i still not found someone that have the characteristics that i like. Maybe some of it does but still i don't want to. Why? Am i being 'konon cantik' girl wtv shit or tak laku (which is fuck -.- pfft). No, it is just that, like i said, i not yet found someone. Maybe there is one. But not important and a must to be together such a couple right? Maybe one day, perhaps -___-'


Well, having a boyfriend is just awww :D but sometimes it is really annoys. Having a boyfriend which is a kaki flirting with others is just soo annoying. I didn't say that ALL guys are like that, maybe just some of it. I repeat, NOT ALL okay. Terima kasih :) *Okay back to topic. And having a boyfriend which is too loving and caring and of course faithful are just soo enough. *To me la. Being single is not that bad somehow. But sometimes i thought of having someone special or in other way, having a boyfriend. But i think if there's someone that God send to me, *cehh then it will be okay i think. And to those that i don't accept you guys for being my boyfriend, sorry and we still can be friends yaww :) kan kan? :D alaa relax ahh, tkkan tk accept nk touching? pastu jauhkan diri la apa la. mcm perempuan you know! haha.


So, back to topic. If i have a boyfriend, for sure i will take a good care of him but if he is being such a fuck then it will turn into pfft -__- seriously and i mean it. Eventhough i had already being through lotsa things, i mean shit things when in love or being in love with someone, like he's having another girl, he's flirting around and bla3, i am still not being a playgirl or bohsia wtv shit bla3. I am here not to being a "Hello, I am single. Would you be my boyfriend?" pfft. Eeuwww i am not that type okay pluss i am not too desperate to have a boyfriend. I can live on my own. But if one day there's someone would like to be my boyfriend, i would loved to ngee :D Being pampered, loved and etc are just soo awesome.


Remembering the past sometimes makes me laugh haha but sometimes and some guys are fake. They say things but they don't mean it, at all pfft -___- plus, even if they mean it, but sometimes they only say it but they do not act it -___-' They use the same words to us and also to other girls which are not their girlfriend. If they say "i love you, sayang :)" to us, you know how i feel and so do you right? Isn't that is just too sweet? Aww. But at the same time, they use that words to others also. To me, if they are being like that, it is no point and the words mean nothing if you say it to your girlfriend though. I am not saying just guys, maybe some girls are the same too. Isn't that just deplorable? Yeah, it is. immensely. Sometimes guys are doing shits and so do girls. I repeat, SOME OF IT ONLY. NOT ALL. I have been through things, lotsa things that really hurts but i don't want to repay all their shits. Let them be, they choose their own life. Past is past. Start of something new :)


And i think that's all. Thanks for reading ;)

hobbies/girlfriends/boyfriends/marriage?

Okay well on the 7th ofJune, on 11.30 (i think, whatever)

Me, papa, mama, cu, cik izan, aikal(13), akam(9), balqis(6). We were from Bentong cause on the 6th of June, my cousin got married. So err they went to our house and sat for a while and chit chat thingy bla3 whatever it was and so we off to Al-Kader, near to Wangsa Maju for dinner. It's quite late i know. We moved out from Bentong around 6 something and we reached home at 11?! well well well, there's a bigggggg traffic jammed -_____- because of the road was close cause they're doing some job wtv shit. So, back to the topic. So, finally we reached the mamak stall and we chose place to sit and have dinner. We we're chit chatting and of course there's lotsa conversations. So, this were how it goes.

(First Conversation)

Papa : Nak duduk mana?

Mama : Mana-mana lah.

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So, we sat and started to order

(Second Conversations)


Papa : Ailin, what do you want to drink?

Me : Teh o ais limau

Papa : Mama?

Mama : Teh o limau panas. Aikal? akam? Ana (Cu)?

Aikal : Teh ais

Akam : Milo ais

Cu : Milo panas

Mama : Izan?

Cik Izan : Nescafe panas

Mama : Makan?

Cu : Order nasi pastu lauk.

Mama : Okay, so nk order lauk apa?

Cu : Tomyam jelah, okay?

Aikal, Me, Akam : Okay okay.

Mama : Pastu add on kangkung and telur dadar.

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And off, we waited for our foods and drinks to come.

(Third Conversations, while eating)

Cu : Haa lepas ni lama lah kita tkde kenduri. Lepas tu Elin pulak kawin

Me : Eh apasal pulak? Abg Roy ada lagi, Abg akem, Kak Ajim, Kamil haa haa haa apa apa?

Cu : Haha cuak kau.

Aikal : Cehh Elin kawen nantiii haha

Akam : A'ah. Haa kawen dgn ijoy

Me : Ee tolong sikit. Kau ingt kau sape nk jodohkan aku. Ijoy tu kawan jelah okay!

Aikal : Haha eleh

Mama : Elin tu tk sbr nk kawen tuu haha

Me : Eee apahal doh korang? Elin rasa Aikal ngn Akam kawen dulu baru Elin kawen. Elin yg jadi pengapit dorang nanti. Tgk lah kalau tk caye.

Akam : Eh Akam tk nak kawenn

Me : Konon tknak kawen. Awek merataa

Akam : Eh abang lagi ramai awek

Aikal : Mana ada!

Me : Haaaa kantoiiii ahaha

Aikal : Serious tkde

Akam : Eleh abes tu aAmira lah, Nabila Wahab tu lah apa?

Aikal : Nabila Wahab mana ni?

Me : Haaa haaaaa kantoiiiiiii ahahaha

*Papa, Cik Izan, Mama and Cu were just laughing looking at us*

Aikal : Ee mana ada! Akam menipuuu!

Akam : Ha tknak ngaku!

Me : Cehhhhh Nabila Wahabbbbb

Aikal : Nabila Wahab mana ni?

Me : Keeee, Nabila Wahub? ahahaha

Aikal : Ahahaha bnyak lah kau!

*So, off. We ate and laughed*

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(Fourth Conversations)

Me : Weh aikal, dh besar kau nk jadi apa?

Aikal : Adalah. Kau?

Me : Doctor lah :D

Aikal : Eleh. Aku nk jadi pemain bola sepak or tentera.

Me : Cehhhh tenteraaaa

Akam : Eleh sebok je abang ni. Akam nk jadi pemain bola sepak jugak. tapi dengan pilot lagi satuu

Me : Pilot? Wow! best tuu. Nanti aku nk pegi mana-mana free eh?

Akam : Ah tak boleh!

Me : Okay fine. Kalau kau sakit aku tak nak rawat biar mati hahaha

Akam : Lahh kurang ajar betul!

Me : AHAHAHAHA

Aikal : AHAHAHAHA

Me : Mama mama, Aikal nk jadi tenteraaaaa.

Mama : Yeke? Bagus, pertahankan kedaulatan negara. Kenapa nk jadi tentera? Tapi nk jadi tentera apa?

Aikal : Sbb boleh main tembak-tembak haha em darat lah kot

Mama : Eleh kalau reti tembak. Ni nk tembak monyet pun tk kena, gelak monyet tu hahaha


*Me, Cu, Akam, Aikal and Mama were laughing hahaha*


Mama : Ala darat tk best lah. Jadi lah udara ke laut kee

Me : Ee tk best ah darat weh Aikal. Kalau aku baik jadi tentera udara

Akam : Eh udara tk best ah! Kalau akam jadi tentera laut. Dapat ikan free hahaha


Me, mama, aikal and cu were laughing hahaha bertuah punya akam



Well, we're quite bising somehow. Everyone were looking and staring at us but still we don't care. We just enjoyed our time together. And, that's our best night since the last time we had dinner together. I'll miss it :(

tudung?

Shocked? Why am i suddenly wearing tudung? Okay i am tired of answering millions of questions so i wanted to share with you about why am i suddenly wearing tudung.

Well, err i didn't remember on what day or on what date but after i came back from school my mom asked me to accompany her to Carrefour because she wanted to buy something. So i talked to her for a few minutes and this is how it goes,

Mama : Lin, teman mama pergi Carrefour kejap boleh?

Elin : Nk buat apa?

Mama : Mama nk beli barang sikit.

Elin : Emmm yelahh. Mama iron kan tudung.

Mama : Tudung?

Elin : Yelah.

Mama : Kenapa?

Elin : Nk pakai lah.

Mama : Aii sejak bila pulak nii

Elin : Alaa tk salahkan mama kan?

Mama : Mmg lah tak. Kalau nk pakai pakai lah mama tak kisah. Tapi ingat mama tak paksa yaa.

Elin : Yelah mama ku sayang. *blurrr* *confused*

Mama : Oi termenung apa lagi tu? Pergi mandi cepat!

Elin : Hehe....sorry

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Okay so that's it. Idk why all of a sudden i feel like wearing tudung. And that conversations was the first thing and day that i thought/talked of wearing tudung. Actually at first idk who or why i want to talked about this and i started to called my close friends and we talked through about this. So all do support me and they gave me strength. And until now, things are fine and i am still wearing it :)

Thanks guys, thanks a lotttttttttt! I love you guys much!

so-called 'great' life

Sometimes life could be sooo great but sometimes it is not, at all -____-
Well life is just like a wave. Sometimes we will be in the up but sometimes we will be in the bottom. Things could make us make mistakes and we learn from that to stop keep falling and still standing no matter what. Not all things could make us be in the up and not all things that we thought that we could be in the bottom will make us be in the bottom. Life is life. We can't slip away from problems/mistakes. We're just a normal human-being. Some things that we never expect that could turn into a mistake and turn us down would be turn into mistakes somehow. To have a great life we have to find/choose a great life and what type/situation that we want to live in. Not all things that we want could be reality sometimes only in fantasy.


Well, friends are there but not all friends are the best. It's hard to find someone that can really understand us, that can really be with us in thick/thin, that can be the one that we can rely on, that can stand with us no matter what and keep us out from falling apart, that can stick with us eventhough we're not in a good situations, that can make us feel good in our bad moments and so on bla3. This if life, friends come and go. True friends will remain and stay. Nothing else matters. Not all person we can make friends, not all friends we can trust and not all friends can be the best true-est friends like we thought. True friends will stay with us and be with us through everything and guide us in problematic and hard situations. True friends will be there anytime when we need them. But the part that is really poignant is when the one that we thought our best true-est friends will only be with us when we're freedom, when we don't have problems and when we have lots of money but when it turns to our bad moments, bad situations and so on, they're gone, they leave. It's immensely dissapointing.


See, this if life. Not all things are great. Maybe some things but not all. Everyone wants a great life, great friends, great journey and great future ;)

when boys when girls

okay look well there's a thing that i really don't like. it is about when a guy and when a girl.

well this things really irks me the mostttt is when a guy do have a girlfriend but they act like they don't have one and simply just go and flirt with others and so do girls. maybe they do have a pretty/macho faces then they think they can do that. or maybe some think that they also have a 'pretty' / 'macho' faces which is really perasan and they decided to do that too. doing something deplorable is worthless. eventhough you're quite or really handsome and pretty is it a must for you to do that? isn't that one girlfriend/boyfriend is just enough? pluss, when a girl do know that the boy do already have a girlfriend but still they want to flirt with these boys and so do boys. they think like "my girlfriend/boyfriend wouldn't know so let's hit it!" or "if my girlfriend/boyfriend find out, let it be lah. there are still lotsa hot guys/girls out there" or maybe "if she/he found out, do i care?" see, they treat people like they don't have feelings. why are you doing this? if you left the one you love for the sake of someone you like, maybe someone you like will leave you for someone they love and don't try to get what you like but just love what you have ;)

m o o d

okay i am currently getting fed-up with my mood. and i don't even know how to solve it. my parents nvr stop nagging at me day by day and it's totally messing me up to the maxxxx -_____- i wish they bisu somehow err no no i think i'll gonna miss them talking if they're bisu. well idk what things else better to do pluss this is a school holiday. so i am doing my own things and stuffs everydayy eventhough i know it is quite boring somehow. but i am trying my hardest to get this type of feeling away.

so, actually i am doing my job. and my job is thinking about my studies. well i am worried about my studies. my parents always nagged at me,

Papa - "Ailin, if you don't start to be excellent now, then when? Do you want to work as a waitress? Do you want to be jobless one day?"

Mama - "Ailin, kau satu-satunya anak mama. Dh tkde org lain dh mama nk berharap."

*sigh* i know people don't like to be nagged somehow. eventhough sometimes i feel like jumping out through the window eventhough i wish that i can fly so i can go away. but when i recall what they said, those words makes me cry. i am the one and only child. and i know i have a bigggggggg responsibility to hold. idk whether i can repay all their kindness and everything that they had gave it to me? idk whether i can make them happy in future like what they did now eventhough not all the time haih it's hard. i hanker to be genius err clever is just so enough. but idk why am i sooooo hard to put everything that i've learnt inside my head? and my marks in exams are not that high and sometimes terumbang-ambing and sometimes deplorable haih -_____- it's plaintiveful. parents nags, exams marks are just soooo bewildering inside my head and sometimes i feel like my head gonna explode. well i have to move on and make a new life, new journey.

i think that's all for now, done.